First "Love"

I haven’t really had much to talk about, so therefore I haven’t posted in awhile. I hope the feeling of emptiness goes away when I get a new PC at the end of the month. Then again, I have found that I don’t need to spend as much time on the computer as I thought I did. Plus I will have a teenage daughter to fight over the computer with. I have to schedule and reserve time to use the house phone as it is now.

My daughter has her first “boyfriend”. She is 13 and he is 14, but they are two grades apart in school because of how their birthdays fall. He will be 15 this fall, with her turning 14 two months later. She has had to endure a lot of lack from the kids of school because he is older. My first serious boyfriend was two grades ahead of me. I was in the 9th grade and it was at my 14th birthday party that we actually started a relationship that lasted until my senior year in high school.

I am fine with my daughter being a normal teenage girl, but her father (aka my husband) is having a much harder time with it. I feel as if I am on one end of the parenting spectrum and he is on the other. Our daughter is a good kid. Always has been, at least so far. I know that we are just now approaching the tumultuous teenage years, but I will continue to trust her until she gives me a reason not to. This is how I was raised, with respect and trust.

My husband however tells me to get my head out of the clouds, that just because I wasn’t ‘bad’, doesn’t mean she isn’t going to try to be. He keeps trying to rule with this iron clad fist, the “because I said so, I am your father” mentality. I keep telling him that he is just going to push her away.

Before Christmas, she would watch tv and talk on the phone in our bedroom because she didn’t have a tv in her room, but she got one for Christmas. This was mainly because of me. I was the one that had no where to go when I wanted to be alone. Well now she stays in her room, watching tv, talking on the home phone and texting on her cell phone. Her dad gets mad because she is in her room all the time. I just don’t think he understands the life of a teenage girl. I told him that my dad used to tease me about being ‘holed’ up in my room and often referring to my room as “the cave”.

My poor daughter has even had to endure the other kids in her grade teasing her and calling her names because her boyfriend is ‘older’. He is a good kid. I like him. He has been to our house and she has been to his, knowing of course that a parent is going to be home. I took her, him and one of my daughter’s friends out to eat and to the mall one day. She went to his house last night to have dinner. His grandmother was in town and wanted to meet my daughter.

They are making their Valentine’s Day plans. It’s cute. He wants to take her out to eat. He even asked to speak to me on the phone one night and then asked me what she likes eat. They daughter has a cheerleading banquet to attend at the end of February. She asked him to be her date. She and I have picked out her dress. He has gone to be fitted for his tux.

I just hope that husband learns to loosen up and enjoy this time in our daughter’s life before he completely pushes her away and she doesn’t want to share anything with him.

So what do you think? Am I being naïve and too trusting?

Coffee?

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

“If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was the coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

God brews the coffee, not the cups..........Enjoy your coffee!

“The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything."

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

I'm mad and hungry

I am mad at my husband. I wont answer his phone calls. I hope he knows how mad I am. I don’t want to talk to him.

I made my daughter’s lunch today for school. It looked so good that I made myself one too. I had already ate half of it by 11am this morning. What is it you ask? It was a bologna sandwich with mustard on wheat bread, white cheddar cheese nips, purple grapes and an apple.

Words of Wisdom

This place looks familiar. I think I have been here before. Wow, I tell ya, nothing like being sick to make you be excited about getting to go to work! lol I woke up Sunday morning recapping what I had the night before. I was home Monday and Tuesday too. I am feeling much better now though. I missed reading your blogs while I was out.

I love to read the marqees that churches put up. I tell myself all the time that I am going to remember them, but I never do. I have a friend who writes them down and has a long list of them that she adds to and saves on her computer. I need to do that, but my problem is I can never find a piece of paper to write on quick enough while I am driving down the road.

While I was out at lunch today I did see this one and kept saying it over and over as I fumbled through my purse searching for a pen, with the only sense of touch, not taking my eyes off the road and then quickly grabbed the receipt of an item I had just bought and jotted it down. I thought it was a simple statement, but yet spoke loudly.

"Use things and love people."

And then that triggered my memory and I remembered another one that I had read recently that I wanted to remember also.

"Making a living is not the same as making a life."

Wrapped Up in My Daughter

I never had braces, but yet I have straight teeth. I could have had braces though, but my parents opted for orthodontic surgery. I instead had four permanent teeth pulled, two on top and two on bottom. I have a small mouth and there was not enough room in my mouth for all of the teeth, with out crowding of course. Because of this, I have always had an innate fear of dentists, but I have a wonderful dentist now. I love going to him. Granted he is younger and very cute, so I don’t mind him looking into my eyes while I sit there with my mouth open.

Well, unfortunately my daughter inherited my mouth problems. At the age of 13 she has already been through one round of braces and had two permanent teeth pulled. She is such a trooper. I am so proud of her. She has a really bad under bite; her bottom jaw sticks out further than her top jaw. Her jaws don’t match up. It is like she got one jaw from dad and one from mom. I feel sorry for her, she can’t bite anything because her teeth don’t come together to bite down and tear. We have to cut up most everything she eats.

A month ago the orthodontist put an “appliance” in the roof of her mouth. It goes from side to side and is attached with brackets around her teeth. There is a keyhole, a tiny pin sized hole in the middle of the bracket where a “key” fits. For 28 days we have to put the key in the hole and turn it. As we turn the key every night, it slowly pushes and expands her upper jaw apart, eventually causing a gap in between her two front teeth. Once they have widened her jaw, she will have to have braces again.

We are also in the process of charting her growth to see when she has gone through her growth spurt. Most girls’ bones stop growing when they are around 16. Most under bites are corrected with headgear, but my daughter’s is so severe that headgear wouldn’t help. So instead, when has stopped growing, she will have to have surgery. They will have to break her jaw, reset it and then wire her mouth shut until it is set. It is very rare that the condition is that bad. What is ironic is that my best friend in high school also had to have this same procedure done, so I was already familiar with it and not SO alarmed at the idea of having it done. I know it works.

I have been at my job for 15 years and I have carried insurance for all of that time. We have medical and dental insurance. Orthodontics are only covered up to $1,000, well of course all of that is gone by now. The surgery that is required / recommended for my daughter will be considered “cosmetic” and therefore NOT covered by insurance. We will be required to pay for it out of our own pockets if we want it done, even though like I said, my daughter can’t bite. Also, because of the structure of her jawbones, she cant breathe through her nose properly or comfortably. She has to breath through her mouth, especially at night and this causes her to snore.

I am a citizen of the United States. I have never committed a crime. I have a legal social security number. I work 40 hours a week. I carry full medical insurance, but I can’t get any medical assistance for this. But yet, if I snuck in to this country as an illegal immigrant and had a child, the child that is born here illegally would receive free medical benefits. So why does that child get paid for with out contributing? Can someone please explain this to me or help me understand how this is fair.

My daughter often requests to listen to a Garth Brooks' CD that I have. She likes the song "Wrapped Up in You". One day I looked at her and I said, "I could dedicate this song to you from me!" She smiled. So I want to dedicate this song to my beautiful, brave daughter. She is a hero to me in more ways than she will ever know.

No ice please

It is supposed to get really, really cold here this weekend. They are saying that certain parts of the state are supposed to get ice. Not snow. Ice. I hate ice. We had a really bad icestorm in 2000, about two weeks before Christmas. We lost our power. We tried to sleep in the house the first night. All three of us piled in to one bed, me, hubby and daughter. We wore clothes and piled blankets on the bed. There were so many that the weight of the blankets made it impossible to move. But then again, who wanted to move, we were frozen in place! Our faces were freezing. It was so cold that ice formed on the inside of the sliding glass doors. We took the food from our refrigerator and freezer, put it in coolers and moved it outside on the deck. No problem with it staying frozen out there!

We stayed with friends the next night. We just figured it would be for another day or two. We never dreamed it be for a week. It was Christmas break and the kids were out of school and I was on vacation. My visions of staying home cooking, baking, shopping and wrapping Christmas presents all went out the window quickly. During that week, I ended up getting a stomach virus while we were at our friends' house. Needless to say, that was the worst vacation time I have ever had.

My Day

“One of those days” all week
Ever have one of those days when it doesn’t matter what you say, how you say it or who you say it to, it’s not the right thing? Feels like I have had that kind of day all week now.

Satisfying a Craving
Sorry Sam, but I had a craving today that I just had to satisfy. I broke down and had a cheeseburger and french fries! It was so good too. I dont feel the least bit of guilt from it. I dont eat a lot of fast foods. Even someone in the breakroom said "I never see you eating fast food!"

War of the Words
If I never hear the names Donald Trump or Rosie O'Donnell, it wont be soon enough for me! I dont get it. She can make fun of him for his hair, or the lack there of and the way he chooses to style it, but yet if he makes fun of her for her weight, then all hell breaks loose? Isnt that being a hypocrite?

Guilt Shopping
Yesterday was the first Monday I have worked since before Christmas. This will be my first full week of work since then too. And then guess what? I am off this next Monday! Yep, its a holiday. Yeah!

My daughter will be out of school too, so it wont be quite as relaxing as I had hoped it might be. But on the bright side, the 15th is payday, so I am sure that she and I can find somewhere to go shopping and maybe have lunch.

Of course she expects to get everything she wants. Her taste is much more expensive than mine. She wants the name brands. I want the bargains. My mother often has to remind me that I was the same way as a teenager. I disagree though. Me? Like my daughter? Never! Although I do remember her commenting to me as a teenager that I had "champagne taste on a beer budget."

When my daughter and I go shopping together and I get something and she doesnt, she gets mad. She will pout and ask me, "Why do YOU get something and I don't?!" I know it shouldn't, but it makes me feel guilty, so I usually end up not getting myself anything or I will go back later when she is not with me and get it. Why do kids have such a way with making us parents feel guilty? I deserve to buy myself things, afterall, I AM the one that works!

My Sister

Growing up I was the oldest of two kids. I have a younger brother. My parents were married for over 20 years before they divorced. They divorced when I was a senior in high school. My dad elected for some 'extra curricular activities' outside of the marriage. Apparently this was not the first time, but this was the first time I was old enough to see the toil that it took on my mother. I told her that both she and I could move out or I was going to, but I was not going to stand by and idly watch my father grind her down emotionally and mentally.

Now I knew that my father wasn’t a saint. Sadly I had figured out on my own that this wasn’t the first time he had messed around on my mom. I often joked that knowing my father, I probably had brothers and sisters I didn’t know existed.

Imagine my shock, but yet not, when one day when my dad called and said, “Do you remember me telling you that you might have a sister?” Excuse me. A what? Nope dad. Don’t think you ever mentioned that one to me. “Well you have an older sister and she has contacted me.”

So I found out at the age of 25 that I was not the oldest child in the family. I had an older sister. She is 3 years older than me. Her mom and dad went to the same high school. My dad was older, so he had graduated and went off to college. When he found out that my sister’s mother was pregnant, he offered the obligatory marriage proposal. She declined. Thus stating, that the child was not his and for him not to worry about it. Joyfully relieved, my father skipped back to college. I am sure in his teenage heart he knew that the child WAS his, but yet he opted to ignore the obvious. I mean, heck, he was off the hook, right? My sister’s grandmother proceeded to pack up her pregnant daughter and move off to another town. I was told that upon my sister’s birth, my grandparents drove to the town where she was born to peek at her through the nursery window. I was told when they saw her, they knew she was dad’s child based upon her features. In the meantime, my dad met and married my mom.

My sister and I are close now, well not very close, but close enough I guess. She lives in a town about 30 miles from me. We look alike in the face, but she is taller than me and more slender. In fact when she was pregnant, her face was a little fuller and I think we looked more alike then.

When I first found out about her we corresponded through letters. She sent me pictures of her through the years growing up. There was one picture of her that I swear could have been of me. More so than we look alike, we think alike.

I meet my sister for the first time in December 1993. We had not even known each other a year before my birthday rolled around in the fall of 1994. We talked, but we weren’t that close. On my birthday, I got a pretty bouquet of fall flowers from her. There was a card that said, “Thinking of you!” I thought it was a little strange that it said "Thinking of you" instead of "Happy Birthday", but it didn't matter. I called her to thank say thank you. She told me that I had been on her mind all day and that she just couldn’t stop thinking about me. I laughed. I thought that she was being sarcastic and making a joke since it was my birthday. I said, “Well I guess so since it IS my birthday today!” Silence. She didn’t say anything, then she said, “Are you serious? It is? I had NO idea.”

A Cat Story

I just got this email forwarded to me. I know there are a few others with cats around here besides me, so I thought you would appreciate this. I am still laughing!

You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said,as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car.

Stress

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "the absolute weight doesn't matter." It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. And that's the way it is with stress management.

If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.

So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!

Halleluiah!

My daughter goes back to school tomorrow!!!

*Doing a happy dance!*

I have decided after some time off and then returning to work, that working is actually bad for my health. I think I better stay at home all the time. I wonder if I could get a doctor's note for that?

Thought provoking

An email I received from a class that I go to.

"As the new year begins, we're going to discuss the motivating factor that drives your life. Everyone is driven by something. What motivates you? Think about that question today and we'll discuss our motivations and what drives us to be who we are in life."

I am curious to see what your responses are, because honestly? I was kind of stumped.

Of course I guess one thing that motivates me is money. I hate to say that, but its true. Don’t we all want money so that we can pay our bills and buy groceries.... ok come on, .... pay our internet providers and buy computers?!?!?

Of course another thing that motivates me is my family. I want to do things and be something for my husband and daughter. And still even at the age of 37, I want to do things that make my mom and dad proud. I hope I don’t ever disappoint them. I don’t want to on purpose at least.

These are the first things that popped in to my head. I know there are more and not everyone thinks like I do, thank goodness. There has to be more. This is where you come in. Tell me what you thought of.

Love is a great motivator. The love of our families. The love of our friends. The love of our country. The love of life. I cant say the love of money, because the Bible says that the love of money is the root of all evil. Not money, but the love of it. So can we say that the love of something motivates us? I dont "love" money, but I love being comfortable. Money pays the bills and provides me with the way I live.

Wow, I am confusing myself with all these deep thoughts! I better stop now before my head explodes. lol

I'm here, but where are you?

Happy New Year!

Wow. It feels like a ghost town around here. I havent got through all of my blogs yet, but so far it looks as if Joie, Sleepless and VI are the only ones to keep up. It looks like most of us dropped out on Dec. 21, 2006.

I have missed reading and writing. I guess you all can tell that I didnt get a new computer for Christmas. I did get a digital camera though. So once I get the computer I can be ready to download, print and post pics.

So? What is everyone's New Year resolutions? I am not much on them, but I did make one this year and that is to be better prepared for Christmas 2007, unlike 2006!