VI is right

I don’t have an excuse for not posting, but rather I haven’t wanted to post for the mere reason I don’t want to whine to you all. I want everything to be funny and good. I want to count my blessings, not my worries. I want to practice what I preach and I feel like I'm not.

Hubby is still unemployed. It is getting very discouraging. He has had interviews, but no offers. It is discouraging to hear "You are overqualified." No unemployment checks yet. Our country sucks in the fact that we will give money away to every dumbass that doesn’t want to work, but you get raked over the coals if you have worked for the past twenty something years and need a little assistance!

I found this weekend that my stepdad lost his job on Friday. Basically the same thing that happened to my husband. His company got bought out, so instead of waiting around for them to fire him, he quit.

This makes me worry about my mom. My mom has Lupus. She has had to start going to a kidney doctor. Her kidneys are starting to fail. She may have to have dialysis.

Hmmm...good news? My daughter's banquet was Friday night. She looked beautiful. I was very proud. My baby isn’t so much a baby anymore and mom's heart was breaking. While she was at her banquet, my hubby and I went to have some burgers and a pitcher of beer. That was good. Really good. I am glad we did that.

The difference

"The only difference between

yesterday and tomorrow

is today."

Mac...this one made me think of you. :-)

Whatever!!!

Well they wont have to worry about where to bury that poor Anna Nicole, by the time all the legalities are worked out, her poor body will be so decomposed that it wont be anything more than a pile of bones!!! After everyone appearing so hunky dory yesterday afternoon after the judge's decision, now her mom has gone a filed an appeal!!! Whatever!!!

And poor Britney Spears, do you really blame her for attacking the damn photographers with an umbrella? I don’t. Those people need to be outlawed. The paparazzi have gone waaaaaay too far in my opinion when it comes to invading people's personal space. But then again, I understand that these "stars" bring a lot of that on themselves too. When every thing is going good for them, they cant get their pictures in magazines enough, but when it goes bad, the freak out and don’t want their picture taken. Whatever!!!

Grey's Anatomy last week and this week! OMG!!! I can’t say anymore, Joie watches and she is a few weeks behind in episodes. Joie, you'll know what I mean when you get it to. When the episodes dealing with water start, hold your breath! lol

crap, crap, crap!!!

Don’t you hate it when you get to work and realize you forgot to do something really important before you left the house? Like put on deodorant? I am so glad its not like 100 degrees outside today and even happier that I can walk right next door to the drugstore! I got to work a few weeks ago and realized I had forgot to brush my teeth!! I have NEVER done that! So now I have deodorant along with my toothbrush and toothpaste in my desk at work.

Peeve #1

I would have to say that my biggest pet peeve is double standards. Or should I say that the people who believe in double standards are my biggest pet peeve? It infuriates me when I see someone behaving in a way that they think the rules or laws apply to everyone, but THEM!

I was sitting a stoplight this morning on my way to work and the light had just turned green. In the crossroad line of traffic, I noticed a van that had turned and was trying to speed its way through the parking lots in order to get ahead of me and the traffic that had just been realeased from the red light. I sped up just enough so that she couldn’t turn out in front of me. I wanted to honk and wave at her as I passed. Granted, she probably had no idea why I was gloating with pride as I passed her, but damn it sure felt good!

Volume

I saw this on my way to work this morning. I liked it.

"If you have trouble hearing God's voice, turn down the volume of the World's"

The Letter

Eileen asked if I wrote letters to my daughter. I hate to say that I don’t. I have given her cards with little things written in it. I take that back. I have written her letters. Every summer for the past five years she has gone to church camp. I have written her letters while she is at camp. She keeps them in a box under her bed.

That question reminded me about a letter my mom wrote me once.

My parents separated and divorced my senior year in high school. School had started that year and we were all still living in the same house. That year I was on the yearbook staff and we had to sell ads to local businesses. That meant that we were able to leave campus for a few hours during school. One day for some reason I stopped by my house. I noticed when I pulled up to the house that my mom’s car was gone. As I went in to the house, I noticed that our dog that stayed in the house was gone too. So I knew right away that 1) my mom wasn’t home and 2) she took the dog with her.

Now usually that was no big deal for a stay-at-home mom. She was always shopping or running errands and the dog loved to go in the car with her. But what caused my heart to sink to the bottom of stomach was when I turned the corner to walk in to my bedroom. There was an envelope lying on my bed with my name written across it in my mom’s handwriting. I almost threw up right there. I just knew that she gone. That she had had enough and left.

I opened the letter, reading it fast, scanning the words. I knew that mom had been going through a rough time. I have told you all before that my dad took her to the brink of a nervous breakdown. I tried so hard to be a good daughter. I think that is why I was such a “good girl” during my high school years. I knew my mom had enough to deal with my dad and she didn’t me to further add to her turmoil or embarrass her anymore than he already had or did.

In the letter, she thanked me for unloading the dishwasher the night before and putting the dishes away, all without her having to ask me to do it. I don’t even remember doing it. She went on to tell me how much she loved me and that I was her strength. But that was it. It was a thank you letter. She wasn’t leaving! She would be home when I came back later that afternoon!

It was just a few years ago that I told her how much that letter scared the crap out of me! She and I had a good laugh about it. I am glad that I can laugh about it because my heart still beats fast when I picture that letter lying on my bed.

I dont get it

I dont get it. WTF is wrong with Anna Nicole Smith's mom? Anna didnt want a damn thing to do with her when she was ALIVE, so why in the hell does her mom think she would want her to have anything to do with her (as in her mom deciding where to bury her) after death???

And this woman is Daniel's grandmother. He is Anna Nicole's dead son that died in September. He is buried in the Bahamas, where Anna Nicole's lover says she wanted to be buried, next to her son. So my real question here is, as a grandmother and a mother, how could this woman NOT want her daughter to be buried next to her grandson?!?!?

I have heard that she wants Anna Nicole to be buried in Texas, is that right? But I have heard no mention of whether she wants Daniel's body to moved also or if she is going to leave him in the Bahamas. (update 12:37: I read this here: "....wants to take Smith's body to Texas to be buried in the family plot, and to exhume Daniel's body and re-bury him in Texas.") Does she not realize that where Anna Nicole is buried has nothing to do with making ammends to her daughter? I just dont get it.

If anything, this is a perfect example to us that are living that we should strive each day to make ammends to those that we have hurt or maybe forgive those that have hurt us, because we might not be here tomorrow to do it. I bet lawyer's offices are jsut swarming with people who realize now how important it is to have a will in place and most importantly make sure it is kept up to date.

Promise Me

I was at Eileen's reading this post and it made me think about something.

When my daughter was little, I worked with this young girl, Holly. She had never been married and didn't have any children. I would tell her stories about my daughter and the cute things she was doing. I guess my daughter must have been about three. Holly would laugh at my stories, asking me everyday about my daughter and what cute and funny things she had done the night before. Holly commented one day about how much I talked about my daughter, how much I loved her and that it showed.

People I work with comment about what a jovial person I am, usually laughing, smiling and making jokes, but suddenly the smile was gone. I just froze. I stopped laughing, looked directly at Holly and asked her to make me a promise. She was caught off guard, and she stopped smiling. She knew I was being very serious. I asked her to promise me that if anything ever happened to me that she would make sure and tell my daughter how much I talked about her, how much she made me laugh and how much I loved her.

I also told Holly that I wanted her to tell my daughter about me, to tell her what kind of person I was. To tell my daughter that I was a genuinely happy person, that I laughed a lot and made jokes. Suddenly, I was scared that if something happened to me that my daughter wouldn’t KNOW me; that she wouldn’t know what kind of person I was and how I lived.

I still get tears in my eyes remembering that day and the wave of emotions that came crashing over me and flooded my heart at that exact moment. Of course it made Holly cry and she told me not to talk that way. But she promised me that she would do what I asked. Thank goodness, Holly never had to fulfill that promise.

What I see

Guess who this is? This is my daughter. What? You cant see her face? Well me either, this is how I see her 90% of the time....texting on her phone! lol

Burned out

I am so burned out on my job right now I dont know what to do. I dont want a new job. I have been here almost 15 years. I get 4 weeks vacation. But I have got to find something that I LIKE about my job besides a paycheck.

Update: 4:26pm
I am running out of here at 5pm! This has been the longest day. It is 'supposed' to be a national holiday in the US. It is President's Day. I actually work for a company this is considered a government agency, but yet we are working today. We have hardly had any customers, not enough to justify the payroll and utility bills that was spent today. Most of the other businesses I deal with on a daily basis are closed. It is so aggrevating.

I am making tacos for dinner tonight. Yummy! I have to get lettuce and tomatoes on my way home. I think I am going to get stuff to make cheese dip too. I am getting hungry now. Hurry up 5pm!

Weekend in review

I didnt get to play around on the computer as much as I had hoped I would this weekend. But the little that I did get to, was great! I love the big monitor and how fast everything downloads. My daughter was out of town most of the weekend, so every time I went to do something on the computer, here comes hubby, wanting my attention. I swear, they are just overgrown kids, but worse sometimes. After daughter got home late Sunday night, she came in to my bedroom as I was lying in bed reading and she said, "I LOVE the new computer!" I smiled and thought, "Great. Now I'll never get to use it."

So? What's everyone's opinion on Britney's new hairstyle? Has she finally gone of the deep end? Is it a cry for help or just a publicity stunt? What I cant believe and couldn have never imagined is that K-Fed is actually looking an angel compared to her now.

We watched two movies this weekend. The first one was one that has been out awhile, but we had never seen it, "The Wedding Crashers". I had hoped it would be funny, but it wasnt. Not to me. I thought it was really slow in the beginning. Well now that I think about, the whole thing was slow! Then we watched "Little Miss Sunshine". I thought that it was really cute.

The irony of life

This weekend my husband and I were talking and I said, "You know what's so bad about you being home and unemployed?" Quizically he looked at me and said, "Being home and unemployed?" I said, "Well, besides that. For once you have all this time at home to do all the home repairs we talk about needing to do, but we dont the income to do it." Awwwww....the irony of life!

Sorry, I apologize

Ok, as you can see or maybe you can't, who the hell knows anymore, I have switched to Beta Blogger. The sad thing is it wasn't because I WANTED to. I was forced to! So please forgive over the next few days as I play and try new colors and new templates.

Not only is this all new to me, they have totally screwed up my sign on. I try and sign in with the "new" one and it tells me that I dont have the right password, so then I go the old blogger and try and sign in, then it takes me to the new one and tells me to sign in, so I do, using the EXACT same password that I JUST used and it wouldnt take, but it takes it this time!!! WTH?!?!?! And it wont accept either password on sign on when I go and try to make comments. I am completely confused.

I will hopefully get a chance to play around and work on it this weekend since I am now the proud owner of a new home PC! This is what my computer is, except I got a 19" monitor for the exact same price. We got a good deal. Hopefully I'll see you around this weekend sometime.

Is it me?

The Window Shopper Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf) Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper. You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.

Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.

Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.


BEWARE: The Hornivore

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy, The Boy Next Door

Your exact opposite: The Stiletto Deliberate Brutal Sex Master Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.

Conversation Hearts '07

You know the converstaion heart candies that come out for Valentine's Day. Well I had an idea this morning as I looked at these. They have come up with the new "Fax Me" and "Call me", so I came up with an idea! They need to make one that says "Blog Me" or it would be better if they could somehow fit "Blog about me" on one.

Small gestures

"Rise and shine Valentine!" is what I said to my daughter as I woke her up this morning. She pulled the covers up over her head and told me to hush. Aside from her less than sunny diposition this morning, I have had a good Valentine's Day so far.

The first thing I do every morning when I get up is make coffee. This morning, sitting beside the coffee pot was a card and small box of candy. When I say 'small', I mean 4 piece candy small, but it was the thought that counts, right? Plus, given the fact that hubby is unemployed at this time, I would have killed him if he had spent any more money on candy! I had already presented him with his card and I also got him some "roses", a Guns N Roses Greatest Hits CD. My hubby is an 80's music freak! You can pretty much ask him who sang any song from the 80's and he will know it.

A few summers ago we went on a vacation to Florida for a week with another couple and their daughter. That was the 'game' of the trip, to try and find a song that hubs didnt know who sang it. We would be sitting on the beach and there would be a song on the radio and the other guy would shout, "Ok! Who sings this?!" You could hear the smugness in his voice. Then a short while later hubs would reply and then you could hear a heavy sigh from the other guy. For Christmas this year I wanted to get him the 80's Rock Trival Pursuit game, but for some reason I didnt. I need to remember that as a gift when his birthday comes around this year. I dont know who he would play it with though, but I am sure he would enjoy reading the questions.

On my desk at work this morning was a box of candy and small plastic cup of candy. The box of candy is from one of the guys in our office. He bought all of the women one that work for him. There are three of us that all help this certain group of guys. The cup is from the office manager. And as I look out my office door now, I see the annual tradition that the men in our office do. They purchase red roses and then gather as a group and distribute them to all of the women in the office. It is really sweet.

Milestones

In regards to my post and the comments below, I saw a sign in the drycleaners the other day that said: "We will be more than happy to serve you as soon as you hang up." I wish more places would adopt that policy.

Last night was a milestone in my daughter’s life. She and I went shopping for her first Valentine’s Day gift to give to a boy. She is still “seeing” the same boy she has been since before Christmas. He is a cute kid.

He came over to our house Saturday to watch a movie and hang out for a few hours. He has come over a few times before, but my husband has always been at work. Now that hubs isn’t working, he was home this time. Hubs is very apprehensive about his daughter “dating”. It’s not necessarily the boy in general, but the fact that this ‘boy’ likes his little girl. Hubs sat out in the living room with us watching the movie for a while, then he got up and went to our bedroom to watch a basketball game. I went to the bedroom and the first thing my husband said was, “Does she have to lay all over him like THAT?!” I looked at him with a confused look on my face and said, “Like WHAT?!”

At one point this boyis on one end of the couch and our daughter was at the other, but she had her feet propped up on his knees. Later on, she sat beside him, linking her arm through his and put her head on his shoulder. I just laughed. My husband said, “Well I can see that you aren’t going to have ANY boundaries! You aren’t going to leave them out there by themselves ARE you?!?” I am not exaggerating when I say that I can stand in our bedroom doorway and look directly to the couch in the living room. So I went back to the living room and proceeded to tell them that if they heard Hubs coming, then they had best part a little. My daughter looked at me and said, “Dad needs to learn to chill a little bit!” I just smiled.

Later they made cupcakes together in the kitchen. I stayed in there with them just to make sure my kitchen was destroyed. It was fun. I took a bunch of pictures of them. Of course neither one of them would look at me, so they are all ‘action’ shots of them mixing and pouring. That is one of the things that she is giving him for Valentine’s Day, a little photo album with those pictures in it. He is going over tomorrow night (his mom is bringing him) to pick up my daughter, then they are going out to eat and then to his house to exchange Valentine’s. They are going out to eat early before the restaurants are packed. His mom is going to drop them off and then pick them up. My daughter is nervous about it just being the two of them together while they eat. She is like, “What are we going to talk about?!” I told her I wonder the same thing every time her daddy and I go out to eat.

Blood boiling mad

I know that I am getting older and bitchier as every day passes. I love it when things happen to me that remind me of that fact. Take last night for example.

I used to love to go Wal-Mart when I was younger, but then again, Wal-Mart was better then too. Now I go to Wal-Mart on a “have to” only basis. I had made a purchase there for my daughter, whom I refuse now to ever purchase anything for unless she is standing with in an arm’s length away from me. I don’t care if it is just a pair of socks; she has to be there.

Last night she and I ventured in to Hell (aka Wal-Mart) to return an item that she did not want. The line was incredibly long, of course, it is Wal-Mart after all. I was already in a foul mood because my daughter and I had been at each in the car. So the long line was just another rung in my emotional ladder for the night. I stood and glared at as many employees as I possibly could. At one point I think steam actually came out of my ears. But the breaking point came when the person in line behind makes a call on his cell phone.

On his “walkie talkie” cell phone.

Not only can I hear him practically screaming while cursing in to his phone, which is just a few feet behind my head, I get to hear the damn “beep” every time he releases the button from speaking and then the “beep” again as the person’s conversation on the other end of the phone is played out in public for everyone to hear!

My daughter could see my blood was starting to boil with every damn “beep”. The lady in front of me started talking to me and casting glances back to him. He keep talking and talking and talking, never, not once, taking in to consideration the people around him. I saw a lot of people walking around on their cell phones, but each one politely had it to the side of their heads, over their ears.

I am getting irate just thinking of it now actually. Why are some people so rude?? Seriously. I dont understand why people act like that.

My Dear Husband

"The company's been sold and we are going to go in a different direction. Usually when a manager is let go, we ask them to leave that day, but since you haven't done anything wrong we would like for you to stay for another two weeks."

Update: I KNEW this was coming...
8:30 am, Friday 2/9/07, phone call from hubby...

"How would you feel about me going to RN school?"

Oh God...not again...

Too Weird

Anna Nicole Smith is dead.

Her 20-year-old son died in September, just a few days after she gave birth to her daughter, now she's dead at 39.

Joe commented on his blog the other day wondering if the world had gone mad, then I read this in the news today. I would say this guy deserves to die the same way, but that would actually be too humane for him.

So what!

I am sick and tired about hearing about this woman. I mean, so what if she is a freakin astronaut, she is only human afterall! Damn! They act like she is supposed to be void of any type of emotion or feelings. She had some type of a "relationship" with this guy, then got jealous of another woman. Big deal! Move along with the news. Now, granted, driving 900 miles with an adult diaper on so she could stalk the other woman is a tad bit extreme. And I am not saying that I dont think she was 110% wrong in what she did, but so much of the ordeal is being made being she is an astronaut! Who cares?!?! If this was say a teacher, do you think there would be this publicity on it? Again, I ask, whats the big deal with her being an astronaut? Personally, I think you have to be a little screwed up in the head to begin with to be one of those!

It looks like I will be getting a home computer with in the next few days. yeah!!! I hope that with the arrival of a new computer also comes my creativity to start to post again. I dont have anything exciting or new going on in my life like the rest of the group does, hell I dont even have an exciting past to write about!

Speaking of pasts, I did get an email from first love from high school. We still email some. He recently moved back in state, about three hours away. He emailed to tell me that he is going to be visiting his old college, about 30 minutes from me, with a buddy this weekend. He emailed me to see if I wanted to get together and have lunch on Saturday. I declined. I would love to see him, but since I have been so sick recently, I just dont feel like I have the energy to. I am regretting saying no, but I know when Saturday morning rolls around and I dont feel good, I will be glad I said no. I would have so much to do before then anyway...hair cut, color, tan, lose about 10 pounds. See? Too much to do in just a few days.

Can I have your attention?

Earlier when I was cleaning out my purse I came across a pair of miss-matched earrings. They have been in there for about two weeks. Shows you how often I clean my purse out. Anyway, remember the night that my hubby and I went out to eat on our anniversary? Well I had taken off the earrings that I had worn to work that day and on our way out the door, I just reached in my jewelry box and grabbed a pair to put on. We got to the restaurant and were sitting there talking for a few minutes. While we were talking, I reached up to touch my earrings. I realized that they felt different from each other, so I took them out to see. Sure enough, I had grabbed two different ones. I asked my hubby why he didn’t say tell me, considering he was sitting directly across from me, talking to me the whole time. He said he didn’t notice. Goes to show you how much attention men pay to us women. And it's not like I have long hair that they hid in, my hair is short. Oh well. I thought it was funny. Oh and sorry, my earrings arent the super-sexy porn star kind like Joie wears. :)

Up to You

"God determines who walks into your life. It's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."

Seeking the lost

OK, so I asked about long lost blogger Sam and got a response. But has anyone heard from Manslut? His blog disappeared too. And has anyone heard from Wild Cat? She hasnt posted in awhile. Just curious.

If only

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

~ by Erma Bombeck
(Written after she found out she was incurably ill.)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it ... live it and never give it back.

STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what . Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with, and what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally.

Turkey's done!

You know the little red popout temperature/timer thingys on turkeys? They popout and tell you when the turkey is cooked? Well anyway, that is what my ears feel like they are going to do, popout the side of my head.

Last week it was a stomach virus. This week its a cold. Last night on the way home from work, my left ear stopped up. It wouldnt unclog with any amount of yawning or holding my nose and blowing out. So I took a bunch of medicine and went to bed by 8pm last night. I figured it would clear itself during the night, ya know...the ole' "ignore it and it will surely get better" routine? Well it didnt work this time. So I broke down and went to the doctor. I have an ear infection. I am currently awaiting my prescription of antibotics to be filled. I hate being sick. I have too much to do to be sick.

Little Things

I may have an old, small house, but I have a roof to keep the rain off my head. I have walls to block the wind. I have windows to keep the bugs out. I have doors to close to keep out animals and criminals.

I may only have a bedframe, but I have a mattress to sleep on to keep me off the ground and a pillow to put my head on and blankets to keep me warm.

I may have a small, five year old car, but I have transportation and it has AC and heat. I know what it is like to drive around in summer heat of 100 degrees or more in a car with no AC, so I am thankful for my car.

I may have only had a sandwich for dinner, but my stomach was full and I didnt have to go to bed hungry.

I may not have the latest styles of clothes on today, but I had a closet of clothes to pick from this morning and I have socks and shoes on my feet so I dont have to walk around barefoot.

None

"If someone speaks bad of you, live so that none believe it."

Everything Changes

Weekend came and went. Nothing exciting to report. Friday night was our anniversary, so me and hubby decided to go out to eat while our daughter was at the movie. I had decided that I wanted a big ole' greasy cheeseburger. I guess after being sick for the past week, my appetite was coming back.
We decided on this place not too far from our house. We have been there a lot before and I was so excited for my burger and my onion rings! We ordered and waited. While we were waiting, we noticed that the service wasnt as good as it usually was. But then we got our food and it was horrible. I was so disappointed. Gone were my homemade onion rings and my thick, juicy burgers. I felt so ripped off. I could have stayed home and made a better burger than what I was served. My husband said he wants a re-do for our anniversary dinner. I agree.

17 Years Ago Today

I went from Miss to Mrs.

My husband once said this song made him think of us.