Old Enough

I went to bed with a headache and woke up with the same one; I just wish I could remember his name. lol Okay, so that was my attempt at humor today. Don't quit my day job huh?

I really do have a headache. I think it is the way I sleep. My neck is killing me. I need a massage. I have never had one, a professional one that is. I am just not sure how I feel about some one I don’t know putting there hands on me. Now if it was someone I knew, oh yeah, that would be great, but it wouldn’t be my neck I would be thinking about then.

When I got home from work yesterday, the house felt empty. I felt empty. I felt like I could hear my heart beat with every tick of the clock. I tried to call a friend. There was no answer. I had to finally turn the TV on to kill the silence. I watched Survivor and then Grey’s Anatomy. I was pretty disappointed with Grey’s. Does anyone else watch that show? I just want to know how Addison found Meredith’s panties. Did Derek take them home as some type of souvenir? At least now that the first episode is over they will stop playing that song by The Fray, “How to Save a Life”. I used to love that song, but I can’t take hearing it anymore. It reminds me of someone.

It rained last night. I love how green and fresh everything looks after it rains. I had the windows open when I went to bed. I loved lying in bed listening to the trees and the leaves blow. The breeze felt good coming in through the windows. I woke up later as a big storm was coming in. I loved laying there in the dark listening to the rain as it was starting to fall. It would have been a perfect night to make love.

At what age do we have to become when things don’t hurt anymore? I can remember when I was a little girl, I prayed that my dog would live until I was 13. I thought that I would be old enough to handle the pain then. I can remember hoping that I wouldn’t have to have my wisdom teeth pulled until I was 21. I thought I would be brave enough then. So why am I almost 37, but still feel like a kid? When will my feeling toughen up? At what age will I “grow up” and not let things affect me?