Winter

Wow. I am seriously PMSing today.

I can think of ten million things I want to write about when I am not sitting here. I even jot down notes to myself, but then I sit here and I can’t think of a damn thing. My thoughts aren’t solid. I feel like they are a liquid that has been spilled and flowing all over the place.

This past weekend I was supposed to get my hair trimmed when I took my daughter to get hers cut. But that day when I did my hair, it looked so good! So I decided to not mess with getting it trimmed. Why is that? My hair can look perfect all weekend, then turn to crap during the workweek. Typical.

I have short hair. A friend asked me the other day with winter coming why didn’t I want to let my hair grow out some. Actually winter is one of the times I like having short hair the best. I love walking outside in the cold air. It feels so good on my neck and ears. I love the feel of my leather coat against my neck. I love wrapping a scarf around my neck and then burying my face down in to it to keep it warm.

I love winter. I can’t wait for it to get here. The only problem with winter is my feet are never warm! It doesn’t matter how thick the socks are; my feet are always cold. What is the saying, “cold feet, warm heart”?

This is a “fantasy” that I have:
To be in a cabin in the winter, with a handsome man of course. Lying in front of a fireplace. Making love on the floor under a huge pile of blankets, afterwards, my head on his chest, him running his fingers through my hair, watching the fire. It’s snowing outside. We go outside, kissing and holding each other in the snow, only to come back in and start all over again in front of the fireplace.

I have been snow skiing once. It was my Senior trip in high school. There were 18 of us, 6 girls, 12 guys. I wasn’t really “great” friends with anyone in particular in high school, but I was friends with everyone. I had one really good “guy” friend. His name was David. He looked out for me. I was such a young, naïve thing. David would come to my house almost every day in the summer. He would come over and watch soap operas with me. My boyfriend didn’t like David. It was nothing romantic. Although we did try and go out once. It didn’t work. The summer I went to Europe, David threw me a surprise going away party. David had a swimming pool. It was at his house that I went skinny-dipping for the first time, only to have him sneak over and turn the underwater lights on. Anyway, David made sure that I went on this ski trip. We had a lot of fun. I can still remember getting stoned in the bathroom. I couldn’t ski very well. I have a bad knee. Since high school, I have dislocated it twice. When your kneecap rolls around to the back of your leg, it isn’t pleasant. Too much sex in one day was the culprit the last time it happened, must have been all those positions. Wow, I keep skipping around, that was the first and last time I ever went skiing. But I still love winter and the snow.

Have you ever wished you could hold someone’s hand? Or maybe better yet, have them hold yours. Just sit beside each other, you don’t even have to speak or look at me, just hold my hand. I just want to feel the warmth of your hand wrapped around mine, just to know you are there.