First "Love"

I haven’t really had much to talk about, so therefore I haven’t posted in awhile. I hope the feeling of emptiness goes away when I get a new PC at the end of the month. Then again, I have found that I don’t need to spend as much time on the computer as I thought I did. Plus I will have a teenage daughter to fight over the computer with. I have to schedule and reserve time to use the house phone as it is now.

My daughter has her first “boyfriend”. She is 13 and he is 14, but they are two grades apart in school because of how their birthdays fall. He will be 15 this fall, with her turning 14 two months later. She has had to endure a lot of lack from the kids of school because he is older. My first serious boyfriend was two grades ahead of me. I was in the 9th grade and it was at my 14th birthday party that we actually started a relationship that lasted until my senior year in high school.

I am fine with my daughter being a normal teenage girl, but her father (aka my husband) is having a much harder time with it. I feel as if I am on one end of the parenting spectrum and he is on the other. Our daughter is a good kid. Always has been, at least so far. I know that we are just now approaching the tumultuous teenage years, but I will continue to trust her until she gives me a reason not to. This is how I was raised, with respect and trust.

My husband however tells me to get my head out of the clouds, that just because I wasn’t ‘bad’, doesn’t mean she isn’t going to try to be. He keeps trying to rule with this iron clad fist, the “because I said so, I am your father” mentality. I keep telling him that he is just going to push her away.

Before Christmas, she would watch tv and talk on the phone in our bedroom because she didn’t have a tv in her room, but she got one for Christmas. This was mainly because of me. I was the one that had no where to go when I wanted to be alone. Well now she stays in her room, watching tv, talking on the home phone and texting on her cell phone. Her dad gets mad because she is in her room all the time. I just don’t think he understands the life of a teenage girl. I told him that my dad used to tease me about being ‘holed’ up in my room and often referring to my room as “the cave”.

My poor daughter has even had to endure the other kids in her grade teasing her and calling her names because her boyfriend is ‘older’. He is a good kid. I like him. He has been to our house and she has been to his, knowing of course that a parent is going to be home. I took her, him and one of my daughter’s friends out to eat and to the mall one day. She went to his house last night to have dinner. His grandmother was in town and wanted to meet my daughter.

They are making their Valentine’s Day plans. It’s cute. He wants to take her out to eat. He even asked to speak to me on the phone one night and then asked me what she likes eat. They daughter has a cheerleading banquet to attend at the end of February. She asked him to be her date. She and I have picked out her dress. He has gone to be fitted for his tux.

I just hope that husband learns to loosen up and enjoy this time in our daughter’s life before he completely pushes her away and she doesn’t want to share anything with him.

So what do you think? Am I being naïve and too trusting?

Coffee?

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

“If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was the coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

God brews the coffee, not the cups..........Enjoy your coffee!

“The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything."

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

I'm mad and hungry

I am mad at my husband. I wont answer his phone calls. I hope he knows how mad I am. I don’t want to talk to him.

I made my daughter’s lunch today for school. It looked so good that I made myself one too. I had already ate half of it by 11am this morning. What is it you ask? It was a bologna sandwich with mustard on wheat bread, white cheddar cheese nips, purple grapes and an apple.

Words of Wisdom

This place looks familiar. I think I have been here before. Wow, I tell ya, nothing like being sick to make you be excited about getting to go to work! lol I woke up Sunday morning recapping what I had the night before. I was home Monday and Tuesday too. I am feeling much better now though. I missed reading your blogs while I was out.

I love to read the marqees that churches put up. I tell myself all the time that I am going to remember them, but I never do. I have a friend who writes them down and has a long list of them that she adds to and saves on her computer. I need to do that, but my problem is I can never find a piece of paper to write on quick enough while I am driving down the road.

While I was out at lunch today I did see this one and kept saying it over and over as I fumbled through my purse searching for a pen, with the only sense of touch, not taking my eyes off the road and then quickly grabbed the receipt of an item I had just bought and jotted it down. I thought it was a simple statement, but yet spoke loudly.

"Use things and love people."

And then that triggered my memory and I remembered another one that I had read recently that I wanted to remember also.

"Making a living is not the same as making a life."

Wrapped Up in My Daughter

I never had braces, but yet I have straight teeth. I could have had braces though, but my parents opted for orthodontic surgery. I instead had four permanent teeth pulled, two on top and two on bottom. I have a small mouth and there was not enough room in my mouth for all of the teeth, with out crowding of course. Because of this, I have always had an innate fear of dentists, but I have a wonderful dentist now. I love going to him. Granted he is younger and very cute, so I don’t mind him looking into my eyes while I sit there with my mouth open.

Well, unfortunately my daughter inherited my mouth problems. At the age of 13 she has already been through one round of braces and had two permanent teeth pulled. She is such a trooper. I am so proud of her. She has a really bad under bite; her bottom jaw sticks out further than her top jaw. Her jaws don’t match up. It is like she got one jaw from dad and one from mom. I feel sorry for her, she can’t bite anything because her teeth don’t come together to bite down and tear. We have to cut up most everything she eats.

A month ago the orthodontist put an “appliance” in the roof of her mouth. It goes from side to side and is attached with brackets around her teeth. There is a keyhole, a tiny pin sized hole in the middle of the bracket where a “key” fits. For 28 days we have to put the key in the hole and turn it. As we turn the key every night, it slowly pushes and expands her upper jaw apart, eventually causing a gap in between her two front teeth. Once they have widened her jaw, she will have to have braces again.

We are also in the process of charting her growth to see when she has gone through her growth spurt. Most girls’ bones stop growing when they are around 16. Most under bites are corrected with headgear, but my daughter’s is so severe that headgear wouldn’t help. So instead, when has stopped growing, she will have to have surgery. They will have to break her jaw, reset it and then wire her mouth shut until it is set. It is very rare that the condition is that bad. What is ironic is that my best friend in high school also had to have this same procedure done, so I was already familiar with it and not SO alarmed at the idea of having it done. I know it works.

I have been at my job for 15 years and I have carried insurance for all of that time. We have medical and dental insurance. Orthodontics are only covered up to $1,000, well of course all of that is gone by now. The surgery that is required / recommended for my daughter will be considered “cosmetic” and therefore NOT covered by insurance. We will be required to pay for it out of our own pockets if we want it done, even though like I said, my daughter can’t bite. Also, because of the structure of her jawbones, she cant breathe through her nose properly or comfortably. She has to breath through her mouth, especially at night and this causes her to snore.

I am a citizen of the United States. I have never committed a crime. I have a legal social security number. I work 40 hours a week. I carry full medical insurance, but I can’t get any medical assistance for this. But yet, if I snuck in to this country as an illegal immigrant and had a child, the child that is born here illegally would receive free medical benefits. So why does that child get paid for with out contributing? Can someone please explain this to me or help me understand how this is fair.

My daughter often requests to listen to a Garth Brooks' CD that I have. She likes the song "Wrapped Up in You". One day I looked at her and I said, "I could dedicate this song to you from me!" She smiled. So I want to dedicate this song to my beautiful, brave daughter. She is a hero to me in more ways than she will ever know.

No ice please

It is supposed to get really, really cold here this weekend. They are saying that certain parts of the state are supposed to get ice. Not snow. Ice. I hate ice. We had a really bad icestorm in 2000, about two weeks before Christmas. We lost our power. We tried to sleep in the house the first night. All three of us piled in to one bed, me, hubby and daughter. We wore clothes and piled blankets on the bed. There were so many that the weight of the blankets made it impossible to move. But then again, who wanted to move, we were frozen in place! Our faces were freezing. It was so cold that ice formed on the inside of the sliding glass doors. We took the food from our refrigerator and freezer, put it in coolers and moved it outside on the deck. No problem with it staying frozen out there!

We stayed with friends the next night. We just figured it would be for another day or two. We never dreamed it be for a week. It was Christmas break and the kids were out of school and I was on vacation. My visions of staying home cooking, baking, shopping and wrapping Christmas presents all went out the window quickly. During that week, I ended up getting a stomach virus while we were at our friends' house. Needless to say, that was the worst vacation time I have ever had.

My Day

“One of those days” all week
Ever have one of those days when it doesn’t matter what you say, how you say it or who you say it to, it’s not the right thing? Feels like I have had that kind of day all week now.

Satisfying a Craving
Sorry Sam, but I had a craving today that I just had to satisfy. I broke down and had a cheeseburger and french fries! It was so good too. I dont feel the least bit of guilt from it. I dont eat a lot of fast foods. Even someone in the breakroom said "I never see you eating fast food!"

War of the Words
If I never hear the names Donald Trump or Rosie O'Donnell, it wont be soon enough for me! I dont get it. She can make fun of him for his hair, or the lack there of and the way he chooses to style it, but yet if he makes fun of her for her weight, then all hell breaks loose? Isnt that being a hypocrite?

Guilt Shopping
Yesterday was the first Monday I have worked since before Christmas. This will be my first full week of work since then too. And then guess what? I am off this next Monday! Yep, its a holiday. Yeah!

My daughter will be out of school too, so it wont be quite as relaxing as I had hoped it might be. But on the bright side, the 15th is payday, so I am sure that she and I can find somewhere to go shopping and maybe have lunch.

Of course she expects to get everything she wants. Her taste is much more expensive than mine. She wants the name brands. I want the bargains. My mother often has to remind me that I was the same way as a teenager. I disagree though. Me? Like my daughter? Never! Although I do remember her commenting to me as a teenager that I had "champagne taste on a beer budget."

When my daughter and I go shopping together and I get something and she doesnt, she gets mad. She will pout and ask me, "Why do YOU get something and I don't?!" I know it shouldn't, but it makes me feel guilty, so I usually end up not getting myself anything or I will go back later when she is not with me and get it. Why do kids have such a way with making us parents feel guilty? I deserve to buy myself things, afterall, I AM the one that works!

My Sister

Growing up I was the oldest of two kids. I have a younger brother. My parents were married for over 20 years before they divorced. They divorced when I was a senior in high school. My dad elected for some 'extra curricular activities' outside of the marriage. Apparently this was not the first time, but this was the first time I was old enough to see the toil that it took on my mother. I told her that both she and I could move out or I was going to, but I was not going to stand by and idly watch my father grind her down emotionally and mentally.

Now I knew that my father wasn’t a saint. Sadly I had figured out on my own that this wasn’t the first time he had messed around on my mom. I often joked that knowing my father, I probably had brothers and sisters I didn’t know existed.

Imagine my shock, but yet not, when one day when my dad called and said, “Do you remember me telling you that you might have a sister?” Excuse me. A what? Nope dad. Don’t think you ever mentioned that one to me. “Well you have an older sister and she has contacted me.”

So I found out at the age of 25 that I was not the oldest child in the family. I had an older sister. She is 3 years older than me. Her mom and dad went to the same high school. My dad was older, so he had graduated and went off to college. When he found out that my sister’s mother was pregnant, he offered the obligatory marriage proposal. She declined. Thus stating, that the child was not his and for him not to worry about it. Joyfully relieved, my father skipped back to college. I am sure in his teenage heart he knew that the child WAS his, but yet he opted to ignore the obvious. I mean, heck, he was off the hook, right? My sister’s grandmother proceeded to pack up her pregnant daughter and move off to another town. I was told that upon my sister’s birth, my grandparents drove to the town where she was born to peek at her through the nursery window. I was told when they saw her, they knew she was dad’s child based upon her features. In the meantime, my dad met and married my mom.

My sister and I are close now, well not very close, but close enough I guess. She lives in a town about 30 miles from me. We look alike in the face, but she is taller than me and more slender. In fact when she was pregnant, her face was a little fuller and I think we looked more alike then.

When I first found out about her we corresponded through letters. She sent me pictures of her through the years growing up. There was one picture of her that I swear could have been of me. More so than we look alike, we think alike.

I meet my sister for the first time in December 1993. We had not even known each other a year before my birthday rolled around in the fall of 1994. We talked, but we weren’t that close. On my birthday, I got a pretty bouquet of fall flowers from her. There was a card that said, “Thinking of you!” I thought it was a little strange that it said "Thinking of you" instead of "Happy Birthday", but it didn't matter. I called her to thank say thank you. She told me that I had been on her mind all day and that she just couldn’t stop thinking about me. I laughed. I thought that she was being sarcastic and making a joke since it was my birthday. I said, “Well I guess so since it IS my birthday today!” Silence. She didn’t say anything, then she said, “Are you serious? It is? I had NO idea.”

A Cat Story

I just got this email forwarded to me. I know there are a few others with cats around here besides me, so I thought you would appreciate this. I am still laughing!

You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said,as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car.

Stress

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "the absolute weight doesn't matter." It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. And that's the way it is with stress management.

If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.

So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!

Halleluiah!

My daughter goes back to school tomorrow!!!

*Doing a happy dance!*

I have decided after some time off and then returning to work, that working is actually bad for my health. I think I better stay at home all the time. I wonder if I could get a doctor's note for that?

Thought provoking

An email I received from a class that I go to.

"As the new year begins, we're going to discuss the motivating factor that drives your life. Everyone is driven by something. What motivates you? Think about that question today and we'll discuss our motivations and what drives us to be who we are in life."

I am curious to see what your responses are, because honestly? I was kind of stumped.

Of course I guess one thing that motivates me is money. I hate to say that, but its true. Don’t we all want money so that we can pay our bills and buy groceries.... ok come on, .... pay our internet providers and buy computers?!?!?

Of course another thing that motivates me is my family. I want to do things and be something for my husband and daughter. And still even at the age of 37, I want to do things that make my mom and dad proud. I hope I don’t ever disappoint them. I don’t want to on purpose at least.

These are the first things that popped in to my head. I know there are more and not everyone thinks like I do, thank goodness. There has to be more. This is where you come in. Tell me what you thought of.

Love is a great motivator. The love of our families. The love of our friends. The love of our country. The love of life. I cant say the love of money, because the Bible says that the love of money is the root of all evil. Not money, but the love of it. So can we say that the love of something motivates us? I dont "love" money, but I love being comfortable. Money pays the bills and provides me with the way I live.

Wow, I am confusing myself with all these deep thoughts! I better stop now before my head explodes. lol

I'm here, but where are you?

Happy New Year!

Wow. It feels like a ghost town around here. I havent got through all of my blogs yet, but so far it looks as if Joie, Sleepless and VI are the only ones to keep up. It looks like most of us dropped out on Dec. 21, 2006.

I have missed reading and writing. I guess you all can tell that I didnt get a new computer for Christmas. I did get a digital camera though. So once I get the computer I can be ready to download, print and post pics.

So? What is everyone's New Year resolutions? I am not much on them, but I did make one this year and that is to be better prepared for Christmas 2007, unlike 2006!

Hohoho!

Merry Christmas!

Love, Kris

Getting in the mood!

I got home from work yesterday and my daughter had retrieved the Christmas tree box from the carport and managed to put it together herself! Yes, in a way I do feel bad that my child had to put up her own tree, but in another I feel thankful for the help. So last night while she was at a friend's house, I wrapped presents. So we now have a tree with presents under it! I am starting to feel the Christmas spirit creeping in.

This weekend will be full of activities and family. Saturday my daughter and I (hubby has to work) are traveling for about an hour to my dad's house for Christmas. My brother, his wife, their son, my sister, her husband their twin sons, my stepsister, her husband, their daughter and son will be there. My poor daughter used to be the only girl among all the boys, so she is the one that usually gets picked on and poked. The other girl is too young to get involved with the rowdiness. I have purchased all the kids, including my daughter and my dad, who is the biggest kid of all, nerf dart guns. So I am hoping that they will be able to run around and play together without breaking anything!

Sunday we (husband, me and daughter) will be traveling an hour and a half to my mom's. My mom, stepdad, stepgrandparents, my brother, his wife and their son will be there also. I get to see them two days in a row! After all the presents are opened, we have to do our family tradition, watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Yes. I admit freely we are a redneck family!

What are some of your family traditions at Christmas?

Christmas joy?

Ahhh, the joys of Christmas. And you all wonder why I am not in the Christmas spirit. Nope, still no tree. Anyway, last year it was the central heat/AC that went out and had to be replaced at Christmastime. Now this year? Well we just forked over $225 so that we could flush the toliets, shower and wash clothes. The luxury of indoor plumbing!

Question #4

Do you like eggnog ?

Question #3

Real or Fake Christmas tree?

No lights! No lights!

Growing up we always went and cut down our own Christmas tree. I have many of the same memories from the movie National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. You know the part, where he has to cut off the entire top of the tree just to get it in the house. By the time my dad got through “topping” the tree, we basically had two trees.

When my brother was about 2, we went out to get our tree. It was cold too and we walked in to the woods. My dad found a tree and asked us what we thought. It was good. We all agreed, except for my brother. So we kept looking. We looked and looked and looked. It was starting to get dark and colder. Finally, my dad started cutting a tree. My brother started crying and throwing a fit in the middle of the woods. He was slobbering and blubbering something about, “No lights. No lights!” No one understood what he meant. Finally my mom got him to calm down. He explained to her that there were no lights on the tree.

My poor little brother thought that we were going to wander upon a pre-lit, pre-decorated tree out in the middle of the woods like they show on cartoons, magically glowing in the woods with a light shining down on it.

My mom had to explain to him that we had to do that when we got the tree home.

Question #2

Colored lights or white lights?

Huh?

From Joie's blog in regards to Joe: His PC at home is broke (caught a virus from Kris?!)

Why am I being blamed?

Is that a joke or are you serious?

NEXT Year!

I feel like I have been bad and I am being punished, sitting in a corner, by myself. I cant post comments on anyone's blog that has beta. I think this is something that we should have decided on a as group, but nooooo, all you “indivualists” out there wandered off by yourself! lol geesh! I thought we were a "family"! :-)

Joe? You said you had been blocked your own blog at work? Do you think it is because of the 'content' on your blog? I know that there are some blogs I cant get to and read from work. So nobody go too nasty or dirty or I wont be able to read you anymore.

Still no computer on the home front. Still no Christmas tree either. lol I may just put up the littlest tree we have and string some lights on it. It is only the lights that I really like anyway. I love to sit in a dark room that is only lit with the lights from the Christmas tree.

I think I know why I am in such a "scroogey" mood this year. Every year, every single, freaking year, I tell myself that NEXT year is going to be different. NEXT year I will start shopping early, NEXT year I will have more money, NEXT year I will get more decorations, NEXT year I will be better, NEXT year maybe we will have a bigger house. But I'll be damned if NEXT year doesnt get here too damn fast and nothing is different than the year before except Im a year older and my daughter is one year closer to moving out of the house to go to college. I am tired of always waiting for the NEXT year. I know, I know....I am the only one that can make these things different and there is no one to blame but myself.

Ok, and I think one of the reasons I dont like Christmas this year is because of the events of last year. It was a Sunday night. It was around dusk. I had been getting out and unpacking the Christmas decorations. I had finally moved the furniture around so that this year we could see the Christmas tree lights from the street! I was so excited. I got the lights all up on the tree and I said to my daughter and my hubby, "Come on! Lets go outside and look at the Christmas tree lights from outside!" We all went out the backdoor, walked down the driveway and around the end of the cars, then I looked up the street. Without thinking, I screamed "OH MY GOD!" and quickly tried to shield my daughter from looking. My husband saw it too. I pushed my daughter towards the backdoor, but she knew, she could tell. Then the neighbor from across the street came down her drive, from across the street she said, "They didnt even stop." I hurt because she had seen it happen. There in the street was our kitten. Someone had just run her over. This year my daughter told me she was not going outside to look in at the Christmas lights. I told her I wasnt either.

Question #1

What is your favorite Christmas song?

EDITED: A friend sent me these in an email.

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged....
1. Schnizophrenia --- Do you hear what I hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Amnesia --- I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me.
5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and ....
6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells.....
10. Agoraphobic --- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House
11. Autistic --- Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock....
12. Senile Dementia --- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe
13. Oppositional Defiant Disorder --- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
14. Social Anxiety Disorder --- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

Jesus' Happy Day

Blogger is being a big pain today! I cant seem to make comments on anyone's blog today that has beta. I guess I should just bite the bullet and change mine too. I dont know why I am holding out. Fear of change I guess. One of my downfalls. Was that in my birthchart VI?

Joe had commented on his blog about the people and the lack of their Christmas spirit and how we should all just remember what the holiday is actually about. I couldnt agree with him more! I think that it is the fact that so many people have forgotten the TRUE "Reason for the Season" is why I am not in the mood.

I get so tired of hearing about the gifts and the shopping. I am tired of the commercials and the advertisements on TV. It seems without the idea of spending money, gobs of it, that there is no other reason for the holiday. If you listen to the tv and advertisers, it appears that that gifts dont mean a thing if they dont come with a big price tag.

What happened to gifts from the heart?I want to go back to making goodies (cookies, breads and muffins) for your neighbors and friends, going to visit someone you havent seen in a long time or picking up the phone and calling them or sending them a card.

I am so tired of the debate as to whether or not we can even say "Merry Christmas" with out offending someone.

Do you know what you get if you rearrange SANTA? yep...SATAN
(and please, no hate comments. I 'beleive' in Santa Claus!)

When my daughter was little she called people's birthday's their "happy day". You could ask her, "What is Christmas?" She would say, "It's Jesus' Happy Day!"

Here is the words to one of my favorite non-traditional Christmas songs.

Joseph And Mary's Boy
by Alabama

Out here is the country there's magic in the air.
It's the middle of December there's excitement eveywhere
Everyone's invited, the celebration's planned
The gift is just what's in your heart and not what's in your hand

Chorus:
Who's the one we need to thanks
Who's the party for
Who's the one responsible for all this peace and joy
Who deserves the credit for the blessings we enjoy
Preacher said last Sunday it was Joseph and Mary's boy

There were times we didn't think we'd make it through the year
The bankers tried to take our farms but somehow we're still here
I don't know how the crops survived the drought and then the rain
It must have been a miracle how else could you explain

Chorus

The Christ Child born in Bethlehem
He was Joseph and Mary's boy

Its all about ME!

1. Yourself: shy
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse): yes
3. Your hair: short
4. Your mother: giving
5. Your father: selfish
6. Your favorite item: computer
7. Your dream last night: my grandfather died (he is dead)
8. Your favorite drink: sweet tea
9. Your dream car: Mustang GT (this changes daily)
10. The room you are in: office
11. Your ex: clingy
12. Your fear: needles (aka shots)
13. What you want to be in 10 years? alive
14. Who you hung out with last night? my daughter
15. What You're Not? high maintenance
16. Muffins: strawberry
17. One of your wish list items: debt free!
18. Time: morning
19. The last thing you did: talked on the phone to my boss
20. What you are wearing: red pants, black shirt
21. Your favorite weather: Sunny
22. Your favorite book: non-fiction
23. The last thing you ate: choc chip cookie
24. Your life: average
25. Your mood: complacent
26. Your best friend: my mom
27. What are you thinking about right now? lunch
28. Your car: Saturn
29. What are you doing at the moment? typing
30. Your summer: too short
31. Your relationship status: married
32. What is on your TV? Fox News
33. What is the weather like? cloudy
34. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday

Mini Birth Chart

I have to say a big THANK YOU to VI for doing this for me. I might be giving too much of the "real" me away! I have had this for two months, thinking that someday I would add my own commentary, but I havent yet. Anyone notice a common thread throughout?!?! I have bolded the items that I see in myself.

"Your sun sign is Libra."

Basic personality: Procrastination comes naturally to you, because you have the ability to see every point of view, and dislike taking sides in an argument. Although you have considerable physical energy, you are sometimes accused of laziness. This is often because you are choosing to relax, and making time to listen to the problems of your friends and family.

Relationships: You are a great romantic and vulnerable when in a partnership. Your indecision is swept aside, and when marrying in haste you may repent at leisure. You are a very loving and caring parent but sometimes spoil your child for the sake of peace and quiet.

Careers: You enjoy the high life and need to earn good money. You thrive in positions that need diplomacy and tact; fashion and the beauty and cosmetic industries suit you well.

Leisure: You do not enjoy physical exertion, but need to exercise to avoid becoming overweight. You need to control your love of rich food.

Moon in Aries: (personality)
You react immediately and very passionately to situation in which you are emotionally involved, and sometimes the response can be rather too hasty. An instinctive need for action sometimes results in rash decision-making. Where everyday life is concerned, you should learn to be patient with those slower than you. A quick emotional reaction is not always advisable, and you should cultivate control and resist temptation towards aggression or confrontation. A positive aspect is you are decisive when others are confused, and have a broad grasp of most situations. You need independence and are quick to encourage others to be independent too. Easily bored, you need innovation in all areas of your life. Your tendency toward selfishness is certainly not lacking, and in personal matters you tend to put yourself first but you are quick to acknowledge when you have been selfish.

Mercury in Libra: (the mind)
You prefer to achieve without effort. You will go to any lengths to avoid controversy, and will be helped in this aim by your natural charm. Indecision will be a way of life for you, as may mental laziness. Nagging will not help! Gentle encouragement to recognize your own achievements is needed. Procrastination will be a problem.

Venus in Virgo: (relations and money)
Sexual inhibition will need to be overcome if a partnership is to work; when it is conquered, you are an enormously attractive person with natural grace and modesty. Difficulty in expressing love may conflict with need of a fulfilling partnership. Finance is practically handled.

Mars in Sagittarius: (energy levels)
Restlessness, in one form or another is the characteristic most clearly marked in your birth chart. You have high level of physical energy that needs to be exerted through physical activity otherwise restlessness is likely to ensue. You should find a way of balancing your physical and mental energy, using each equally. You should ideally seek a career that is intellectually or physically demanding. You devour challenges with enthusiasm and appetite, and faced with what others find an intractable problem, will set out your solution with enviable zeal - a solution that will probably be unconventional, ingenious, and surprising, stemming from your considerable breadth of vision. There is a risk that in the middle of bringing your plans to fruition, restlessness will take a hand. After all your dedication and enthusiasm have been focused on one thing, you will suddenly become bored and start another project. This is because you have a tendency to believe that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. You should be aware of this element within your personality, and endeavor to keep your energy focused on one thing at a time and to complete all tasks that you undertake.

Jupiter in Libra: (knowledge)
You are easy-going, casual, sympathetic, kindly, and completely charming person who loves comfort. Sometimes you can become lazy, although still utterly charming, and capable of using that charm in order to contrive a luxurious lifestyle that will be supported by the hard work of others. However, you have a good mind under normal circumstances, and are capable of using it. You may be driven to uncharacteristic hard work by your need to make money in order to enjoy the comfortable, even luxurious, lifestyle that you require if you are to be happy. The comfort and luxury you attain will be shared generously, even extravagantly, with friends. You have a well deserved reputation as a genial host. The love of entertainment felt by you stems partially from your hatred of loneliness, and you will cultivate both business and emotional partnerships. You give a great deal of love and affection to your partner, but you are independent, and often rely heavily on others. You need encouragement to develop your own potential and to stand alone. You often dislike exercise but should endeavor to be active, not only for your health and well-being, but because you enjoy rich food and need to work off the excess calories!

Saturn in Taurus (limitations)
You tend to be long-suffering, hard-working, and follow a prudent and rather rigid routine throughout your life. Your admirable patience and discretion sometimes seem to sap you of enthusiasm and originality. Your ambition will spur you on to the top of your profession, but there can sometimes be a conflict between the love of luxury and the need to be 'careful' with money. You usually have an inner voice that accuses you of spending too lavishly, or living too well. You will have to learn to ignore this voice sometimes if you wish to indulge your instincts. Although kindly to others, you are inhibited when expressing your emotions in a personal relationship. Your caution and patience tends to become hesitancy and indecision.

Uranus in Libra: (expressions)
You are loving and romantic, possess a strong independent streak that will battle constantly against your longing for a solid and lasting personal relationship. Your partner will sometimes feel that he is being treated cooly, and that you are too independent to make a proper commitment. You are a faithful friend, completely dependable, and always ready to give as much consideration and time to your friends as they need. Sympathy and kindness are also attributes. If you are accused of being distant to relatives or loved ones, you should try to cultivate the same degree of affection you show your friends.

Neptune in Scorpio: (Same as Sleepless and I)
You may have had to fight hard for a decent lifestyle. Sometimes, when you feel defeated you may easily turn to drugs or alcohol or other forms of escapism (intense, self destructive escapism). On the other hand, if life goes well, you can be ostentatiously successful! Scorpio rules business and good living for this generation to enjoy!

Pluto in Virgo (Once again you, me and sleepless - all born in the same decade) 'You are in a powerful position to make dynamic change. You possess the power to blast the world to fragments or to rid it of much this is unjust!'

This sucks!

I feel so disconnected now, like I am not a part of the 'group'. I miss keeping up with all of you on the weekends. I miss being able to sit down and post when a thought pops in to my lonely little brain! lol Now I have to write down my ideas and wait to type them later. By then it seems that the moment is lost though.

Hopefully we are going to purchase a new computer as a 'family' Christmas gift. Hopefully this week. I just dont know what to do with the two old computers that are now taking up the floor space in our 'office' at home. Actually they are sitting on the treadmill at this time. Darn the luck, that means I cant get on it and walk! lol shoot!

I had a pretty quiet weekend at home. I still dont have any Christmas decorations up. I told my daughter that we werent going to put a tree up this year. I vote that we just skip Christmas this year. I am not in the mood, nor does it seem like many other people are either.

Little Girls Are So Smart

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.

"That sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter said with admiration.

"Thanks," the girl replied.

The firefighter looked a little closer and noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

"Little Partner," the firefighter said. "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little girl replied thoughtfully,

"You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.

Testament

The funeral was two hours today. It was sad, but it was also a wonderful testament to a man that took great pride in his job and his life. I was proud that my daughter had the chance to know him, even if only for a few months. It was the first funeral I had been to where it was basically an open mic. Anyone that wanted to could get up and say something about him, tell a story or read a poem. His own parents and sister even spoke.

Isnt it a shame that a person has to die in order to see the people who's lives we have affected? So next time someone touches your heart or you feel like you are better person for knowing them, dont hesitate to tell them. Tell them now. Tell them before you might not have a chance to.

Scrooge

Can you believe that I dont have one Christmas decoration hung or out at my house? The only piece of evidence that Christmas is even near is the one Christmas card that I got on Saturday. It was from a lady that I used to work with. The only gift I have even bought is a $5 CD from Walmart to put in my hubby's stocking. I have a lot of gifts that I want to buy, but my checkbook is just not cooperating! I cant seem to get in the Christmas spirit this year. I am feeling a lot like Scrooge.

My daughter came home from school last week telling me that her PE coach was diagnosed with leukemia. He is also an assistant basketball coach. My daughter had to cheer this weekend at a game. We had to leave the house at 7:00am Saturday. During halftime of the game, there was a commotion in the crowd. Apparently the coach wasnt feeling good and they had taken him the hospital. He had a stroke and suffered an aneurysm. He died Sunday morning. He was 33 years old.

EDITED: Its not fair that we as parents should have to watch our chidren suffer through these lessons in life. It is killing me watch my daughter struggle with this. I was a sophomore in high school before I had to deal with the devastation of losing a classmate. I know this teacher was not a classmate, but he was so young. That is the point that she keeps making over and over. I think knowing that he is younger than I am and he died, keeps reminding her that something could happen to me or her dad that fast. He just found out he had leukemia on the 21st of November.

And to let you all know, I did go out at lunch and make my first real Christmas purchases! The Hallmark store had some beautiful, heavy platters to put cookies on. They were an excellent price, so I bought a few. I also bought my daughter a 2007 calendar. It is Napoleon Dynamite. She loves that movie.

Sorry So Late!

Well I typed this all out on Friday and never got to post it before I left work. This crap sucks! I am at the public library now, people all around me and more burning holes in the back of my head waiting in line to use the computer, including my daughter who is waiting for me to take her Target! Oh to be a teenager again and not have a care in the world other than shopping. Traffic really sucks with all the Christmas shopping and I dont have the patience to deal with it. Then again, when do I really have the patience?!? lol Never!
This has been such a busy, crazy, unexpected week. I am sorry for not being to catch up with all of you. I miss all of you too!!!


1.WHAT CURSE WORD DO YOU USE THE MOST? Damn it!
2. DO YOU OWN AN IPOD?No, but I my daughter has an Ipod Nano.
3. WHAT PERSON ON YOUR FLIST DO YOU TALK TO THE MOST? Flist? What is that?
4. WHAT TIME IS Y0UR ALARM CLOCK SET TO?5:30am.
5. DO YOU STILL REMEMBER THE FIRST PERSON YOU KISSED?Yes
6. DO YOU REMEMBER WHERE YOU WERE ON SEPTEMBER 11th 2001?
The very first news report, I was driving to work.
7. WOULD YOU RATHER TAKE THE PICTURE OR BE IN THE PICTURE?
I love taking pictures and always HATE how I look in pictures, so I will take it.
8. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The Departed
9. DO ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS HAVE CHILDREN?Of course.
10. HAS ANYONE EVER CALLED YOU LAZY?Yes, my husband.
11. DO YOU EVER TAKE MEDICATION TO HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP?Yes
12. WHAT CD IS CURRENTLY IN YOUR CD PLAYER?A cd that CK burned for me with a lot of different songs on it.
13. DO YOU PREFER REGULAR OR CHOCOLATE MILK?Regular.
14. HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU A SECRET THIS WEEK?YES!!!
15. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD STARBUCKS?Cant remember. I tend to agree with MS, "Over priced crap!!"
16. CAN YOU WHISTLE?I can, but not loud.
17. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?Smile.
18. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO?A new computer.
19. DID YOU WATCH CARTOONS AS A CHILD?Yes, Scooby Doo, Tom and Jerry
20. DO YOU OWN ANY BAND T-SHIRTS?Yes, one. Just bought it August 31, 2006.
21. WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING IN ONE HOUR?eating lunch I hope.
22. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?I believe so...
23. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU HEARD?"How To Save a Life" by The Fray.
24. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?Tuesday morning.
25. DESKTOP COMPUTER OR A LAPTOP?I wish I had both, hell I would just like one that works right now, but I have a desktop.
26. ARE YOU CURRENTLY WANTING ANY PIERCINGS OR TATTOOS?I have thought about getting the top of my ear done and maybe getting a little tatoo somewhere, my first.
27. WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?Sunshining and COLD!
28. WOULD YOU EVER DATE A GIRL/GUY COVERED IN TATTOOS?I think.
29. WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE THIS?sent a text message
30. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU SLEPT ON THE FLOOR?A few Christmases ago at my mother-in-law's...that was hell.
31. HOW MANY HOURS OF SLEEP DO YOU NEED TO FUNCTION?Around 8.
32. DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST DAILY?Yes, a little something.
33. ARE YOUR DAYS FAST-PACED?They can be. Depends on the work-load.
34. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?Watched Survivor, Grey's Anatomy, did a Suduko puzzle and went to bed.
35. DO YOU USE SARCASM?Who Me? Of course not!
36. HOW OLD WILL YOU BE TURNING ON YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY?38
37. ARE YOU PICKY ABOUT SPELLING AND GRAMMAR?YES!
38. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO SIX FLAGS?Yes.
39. DO YOU GET ALONG BETTER WITH THE SAME SEX OR THE OPPOSITE SEX?The opposite
40. DO YOU LIKE MUSTARD?Yes.
41. DO YOU SLEEP ON YOUR SIDE?Yes
42. DO YOU WATCH THE NEWS?Yes.
43. HOW DID YOU GET ONE OF YOUR SCARS? chicken pox, I was 5 months pregnant when I got the chicken pox. Never had them as a child.
44. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU MAD?My husband.

What will I do?

Where am I?
Who am I?
How did I get here?

Wow.

Work has been a bitch this week. Lol @ "this week". What? All two days of it so far? Well a lot of the reason is it is the end of the month and in my line of work, that is the most hectic time. Everybody wants it done by the "end of the month", often forgetting that I am only person.

On top of that, my computer at home laid down and died this weekend. Well I was lucky in the fact that one of my parents had just purchased a new computer and offered me their old one. Great computer. Has things that I didnt have on my old one...fax, scanner, CD burner. I was SO excited! Well I should have known if there was something that could go wrong, it would. Afterall, we are talking about ME! The damn thing wont work with DSL. I dont know enough about computers to know anymore than that. I know where to turn it on. Hubby and his friend have been working on it. Who knows. I am about to give up and curl in to the fetal position and start crying. I HAVE to have a computer! I am freaking out.

Then hubby and I get in to an argument today, so I am sure it will be a cold day in hell before he fixes "my" computer now. Maybe Santa Claus will bring me a new one! HA! Well I get a bonus in January, I was going to use that buy new furniture, but it looks like a new computer will be in order first. But what will I do in the meantime?!?! How will I live when I have to take a week's vacation and I dont have a computer! OMG! I havent even thought of that til just now!

Flying

The higher you fly, the harder you crash when you hit the ground.

A little birdie told me..

that today is Just Why's birthday!!!
So everyone go to and wish him a
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

It might be a day late due to the time difference.
Sorry JW! Hope you had a great day!

My Grandmother

Talking about my grandmother's china in my previous post made me want to write about her.

She is my paternal grandmother, my dad's mother. My dad is their only child. They had married later in life and werent sure they could even have a child. My grandfather was crazy about my garndmother. He always talked about how she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. She would always hit him on the arm and tell him to "hush". He was devestated when she had to be put in a nursing home. She had dementia. He went to the nursing home every single day to sit with her.

My daughter was their first great grandchild. My grandfather knew, but I knew my grandmother had no idea. She couldnt speak and had no way to communicate. I dont even know if she knew who we were when we went to see her. She didnt seem to.

My grandparents lived three hours away. Being that my dad was an only child, he had quit his job and was traveling back and forth taking care of my grandmother and the ever present failing health of my grandfather. When my dad called me one Thursday in April of 1995 to tell me that he was going to see my grandmother the next day, somethig made me want to go. I told my boss that I would need the next day off. He wasnt too happy since it was so spur of the moment. Begrudingly, he let me off.

The next day I packed up my daughter and traveled with my dad to the nursing home. We spent time with my grandmother that afternoon. We basically just pushing her around in her wheelchair and sat in her room playing with my daughter. Like I said, she couldnt speak or communiate, but she sure would babble and carry on with my daughter. It was like they had their own language.

As we got ready to leave late that afternoon, my grandmother reached up from her wheelchair and held on to my daughter's toes as I was standing there. I hugged her and told her I loved her. As my dad hugged her and said, "Bye mom, I love you." She held on to his hand, he looked at her and she was crying, there were tears on her cheeks.

Imagine my surprise when he called me less than 24 hours later and said, "Your grandmother just passed away."

Thanksgiving 2006

I survived! Thanksgiving came and went without incident! I started cooking as soon as I got home Wednesday night, around 6:30pm. I finally got in to bed around 2am. Hubby and daughter were asleep. Actually daughter stayed up longer than hubby and helped me. He passed out in the recliner around 9pm...thanks for all your help honey! I knew I was too tired to keep going when I dropped an egg in the middle of the kitchen floor. I was up again Thursday morning at 6:30am.

I unpacked my Grandmother's china and washed it. I got online and found it here. After seeing how much it costs now, I was kind of nervous about using it! My mom said that my grandmother was looking down from Heaven and smiling. I remember using these dishes at her house when we would go to visit. Using those dishes yesterday was special.

One of my husband's friends came over to eat with us. He is not married and had no where really to go for Thanksgiving, so we asked him over to eat with us. He is usually a pain in the ass and I dont like him around, but something about it being a holiday made me take pity on him.

There are a few pictures of the table before everyone started eating. For pre dinner appetizers we had a cheeseball and crab salad. For dinner we had of course turkey, dressing, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, cranberries, and a fruit salad. We started around 1pm and by 1:30pm it was all over but the dessert. And for dessert we had pecan and pumpkin pie.

Of course my daughter's eyes were bigger than her plate, so what else can you do with leftovers when there is a dog in the house? Please, no comments about how bad the food was if we are giving it to the dog! (And I know how bad it is to feed the dog from the table, we dont do it on a regular basis. CK? I know how much this makes your stomach turn since you dont approve of animals in the house! ~ lol) My mom said that my grandmother is rolling over in her grave knowing that a dog ate off her china!

Of course my favorite part of the day was taking a nap as soon as lunch was over!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Everyone please take time to think about the things that you are thankful for. Be good to each other.

Smiles and Good Thoughts

Seriously, dont you just love it when you are happy and you know that others are watching you because you just radiate with happiness? I have been smiling my ass off the past few days and today I look up and someone is looking at me, smiling. Smiling is contagious. I have met more people that I see on a daily basis in the past few days just because I smile at them.

I was talking to the security guard earlier. I offered him a donut. He said no, that his wife would kill him if she knew he had one. I told him she didnt have to know, I wasnt going to tell on him. He said, "yeah, but I know how you women are with your '6th sense'." So my question here is, do you women really feel that we have a 'sixth sense' about things? And if we do, why dont we listen to it more? Awwwwww the joys of the holidays and the family guilt and pressure from your family. You know I am only ONE person and I can only be at one place at one time! Just drug me now and let me sleep til January!

Sam? HELP! The holidays are already reeking havoc on my exercise! I havent been to the gym all week, plus the food that we have had brought to work already is crazy! In the US people start with the goodies from Thanksgiving thru Christmas! Monday: out to eat lunch to celebrate employees' birthdays. Tuesday: donuts from a customer, pizza party and birthday cake. Today: donuts from boss this time and a catered lunch from a business!

I have a doctor appointment today. Yep girls, that 'annual' thing. Geesh. I had a bad result over a year ago and had to go through some treatments. I am scared. Please pray, chant, sing, whatever you do, but send good thoughts my way and in the weeks to come til I get the results. Oh and on top of that, its a new doc. I feel like I am about to lose my breakfast. I hate being nervous!

Tonight I will be elbow deep in the kitchen getting Thanksgiving dinner ready. On the menu we have: turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes {real ones too! ;-) }, gravy, deviled eggs, corn, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, fruit salad, rolls and pumpkin pie for dessert! Oh and appetizers, a cheeseball and a crab dip to munch one while they wait for me to finish cooking. I have had my grandmother's china packed away ever since she died in 1994. I am getting it out of storage tonight and washing it. We are eating on it tomorrow.

Happy

I love smiling. I love laughing. It feels so good.

Beta?

My opinion, for what it is worth, I cannot comment on the sites that have swtiched to Beta. And now, seeing how much fun Joe is having with it, I dont think I want to switch. Plus Anne said when she went to switch, that she couldnt. She and I have the same template. I cant comment on Joe or OG's blog today, just to name two that are on Beta now. Sorry guys.

Broken In

VI...this is the song I was talking about in this post.

"Comfortable"
by John Mayer

I just remembered, that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, aisle 5
you looked behind you to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave.

Can't remember, what went wrong last September
Though I'm sure that you'd remind me, if you had to
Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in

I sleep with this new girl I'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say she's gonna be good for you
they throw me, high fives
She says the bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was, so dirty

Life of the party
and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish
Miles from Coltrane
Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
or so they say, say

She thinks I can't see the smile that she's fakin'
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect
Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in

She's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed, I want you back.

A Cool Mom

This post made me think of something that my daughter told me a few weeks ago.

She had gone to a football game and some of her friends were all standing around listening to each other's iPods. The song, "Lips of Angel" by Hinder, came on. My daughter told her friend that I had seen them in concert when they had been in town a few weeks earlier. My daughter said her friend's jaw dropped open and she said, "Your MOM?" My daughter was like "yeah" and went on talking. She said her friend was still standing there and she said it again, "wait, your MOM went to the concert?" My daughter was like "yes, my mom!" My duaghter said her friend looked at her and said, "wow. your mom is cool!" Needless to say that made my day.

I wonder what they would think if they knew I had the song "Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry on a cd too. (Thanks to CK for the CD and for keeping me "young" in music.)

Good to Great

This has been a great weekend. Actually, this has been a great week. It started out a little bumpy, but all in all, it turned out good. I hope this is just the beginning of great. I hope.

Its funny, as I sit here I can barely remember what happened a little over 24 hours ago! lol The only thing I can remember is last night. I got a late night, well early morning, phone call from a friend that I havent talked to in a long time. We spent over an hour talking. It was great. It was like old times.

Dont you just love clean laundry? The warmth, the smell...I wish it could last longer than it does. I hope everyone had a good weekend, I know I sure did.

Whats in a name?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 14 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

• There are 71,992 people in the U.S. with my first name.
• Statistically the 643rd most popular first name.
• More than 99.9 percent of people with my first name are female.

• There are 56,994 people in the U.S. with my married last name.
• Statistically the 607th most popular last name. (tied with 36 other last names)

• There are 8,429 people in the U.S. with my whole maiden name.
• Statistically the 4296th most popular last name. (tied with 26 other last names)
• There are 2 people in the U.S. with my whole maiden name.

Now I wonder, am I one of the two considering that was my name before I got married or am I no longer one of those two. Wow. that would be cool to be one of the two in the whole US.

Old?

My daughter has a friend over spending the night, so I took them to rent movies. We rented "The Lakehouse", "Man of the House" and "John Tucker Must Die". We are watching the John Tucker movie.

There is a scene where the guy is singing, "I want you to want me, I need you to need me..." I was in the kitchen and I said, "Cheap Trick!" A few seconds later the guy on the movie said it too. I said, "Told ya! I know ya'll are impressed!" Then my sweet, loving daughter, who will go to bed without dinner, said, "Of course you know it, its an 'old' band." WTH?!?! OLD??? I get no respect. And I am just teasing about the no dinner thing! :-)

Cinderella

So here I sit on a Saturday night...sweeping. Yep, might as well change my name to Cinderella. lol Dang I hate sweeping when there is cat and dog hair everywhere! We have three cats, two go in and out, one stays in all the time and a dog that stays in tooand I have hardwood floors, so I gotta sweep. Anyone have any suggestions as to some new invention to sweep with besides a good old fashioned broom? Anyone have one of those Swifter thingys? Let me know if you do and what you think please.

Its really been an extremely quiet weekend. Daughter wasnt home last night. I cant even get a phone call while I am home alone, but I did get a few, sweet text messages from a friend. D cheered at a basketball game this morning, so I went and watched her and the game. Our poor little team lost by one point, again. They lost by a point last week too. After the game, D went with her friend and I went to a store to do a little shopping. I was home around 12:30 and thats where I have been all day. I did take a little nap and watched some college football. My team won today. So I think that means we play Florida now for the SEC (South Eastern Conference) Championship.

This week is a short work week. I think I am off this Friday, even though I havent asked for it. I havent taken a vacation all this year. I have about 145 hours of vacation time. I have to take a week off before the end of the year, company policy to take nine consecutive days off. I work with finances, so they think that if I am doing 'shady' that if would float to the top during this time off. Okay, twist my arm, I'll take a week off! lol D is out of school this week, I almost took this week off with her, but that is not really a vacation if she is at home and I have to follow her around cleaning up after her. Hubs was off last week. So I figure I want a week all to myself too. Plus I might can take a little day trip somewhere or do some Christmas shopping!

Why is this a short work week you ask? Because Thursday is Thanksgiving. Friday is the beginning of all hell breaking loose in the stores and malls. After Friday, there will no more running to the stores for something quick. Ugh! I think I have some idea as to what to get D for Christmas. Tweens are hard to buy for, especially considering her BD was two weeks ago and we got her an iPod Nano then. I am sure she will have some ideas though!

Me? What do I want for Christmas? I'll let ya know later.

Thank you

Today is/was much better. I was so tired when I got home I ate dinner and crashed on the couch. At one point I fell asleep. I woke up scared, dazed, not knowing where I was, what day it was, whether or not it was night or day. I must have just passed out the second my head hit the pillow. Too bad it was only 7:30pm. lol Yesterday was such a rainy, gloomy day day. Thank goodness the sun is out and shining today.

I truly appreciate all of your comments. I have talked to my husband before about how I feel. I have made suggestions about things he could do. He is just not an affectionate person and I am. We went to counseling about 12 years ago. A few years after that I wanted to go again, when he asked for a divorce, and he said no. He said he was not going to have someone else tell him how to feel. I think that had a lot to do with the fact he was hiding something. I think my husband had an affair. He never admitted to it, but 2+2 =4. I wish you men would give us women more credit. lol So that in a nutshell is a little about my hubs and my marriage.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday! My daughter has a basketball game to cheer at Saturday morning, but it is just us girls again this weekend. Basketball is not my favorite sport, I really wish I wasnt going to spend the first thing Saturday morning being cooped up in a gym.

There arent that many American readers that come here, that I know of, I need to do one of those "comment if you are lurker" post like some of you did once. But anyway, for those of you that do celebrate Thanksgiving next week, what is the one thing, the one dish that is served at Thanksgiving that you just love and wait all year to have?

Comfortable

I loved you
Grey sweatpants
No makeup
So perfect

Our love was comfortable and so broken in

So Tired

I swear someday I am going to explode. I am going to blow smooth up and then it will to late. I can’t say a damn thing right to please my husband. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Apparently I don’t look right to him either or he would want me more right? I am so freaking worn out and frustrated I want to scream.

It is like he wants this wife that is just jolly, happy-go lucky all the time, but the second I open my mouth to say something negative he explodes all over me. I cant be happy ALL THE DAMN TIME! Especially if he doesn’t give me anything to be happy about!

I have so much to say and I can’t say it all. I don’t want to lay it all out here for ya'll to judge. I know that not every thing is his fault. I have my faults too. No one is perfect. But God, for once, just once, could he say something positive about me? About something I do. I feel like such a second-class citizen, begging. Begging for attention. Begging to be loved. Begging for respect. Basically just begging to be noticed.

When we first met he doted on me. I was the center of everything. He couldn’t do a thing with out. We moved to new towns for his job where it was just the two of us. We packed and unpacked entire moving trucks by ourselves. We were a team. We were each other's best friends and we were proud of that. We bragged about how all we needed was each other.

That all seemed to change when the second I had our daughter. All of his attention and focus went from me to her and then to him. I feel as if I was just there to cook, clean and keep his child for him until he got home. Even my mom noticed it. She is the one that pointed it out to me. Even now, I don’t get the same greeting when he comes home from work as our daughter does, or for that fact, the dog. He has more enthusiasm for the dog than he does for me.

I am looking forward to him being gone again this weekend. I swear I don’t know where to start in trying to explain all of this. So much of it is built up in me. Ask me questions, I will do my best to try and tell you answers. I am scared that this is the way all marriages end up after almost 20 years. Do married couples just begin to tolerate each other and live around each other? I hate this feeling. I want to be held. I want to be loved. I want someone's eyes to light up when they see me. I want to hear the smile in someone's voice when they hear me on the phone. Sometimes maybe I think I want too much. It cant be like that all the time.

A fine line

"The hardest part about being friends,
is loving you so much."


"Truly great friends are hard to find,
difficult to leave and impossible to forget."

Confirmation

I have gotten more compliments on this.

A guy that used to work here just came in.
I hugged him.
He said, "Damn! You smell great! What do you have on!?!"

I just love being a woman!

He is young, cute and used to be an exotic dancer.
I wonder if I could get him to dance for me? ;-)

6 Random Things

I considered myself "tagged" after reading Manslut's post where I am to list 6 random facts about myself. Sitting here thinking, I am not sure I can list six, but here goes...

1. I was born premature. I almost died. They told my mom and dad I would not live through the night, but if did, I would be blind and crippled. I am none of those.

2. Someone anonymously paid half of my hospital bill from when I was born. My parents believe it was the doctors. Because I was so premature for that time, they wrote about me in a medical journal. I dont know the name or where to find it.

3. I have an indention on the top of right thigh, it is a muscle attached to the bone. They gave me a shot when I was born and the needle pushed the muscle down. Growing up, coaches and gym instructors would often ask my mom if I had broken that leg. They said I treated that leg like it had been broken.

4. I have never broken a bone in my body. I have broken my brother's finger and my mom's finger.

5. I didnt know I had an older sister until I was 24 years old. She is 4 years than me.

6. I went to college to be a high school English teacher.

Cant Believe It

Wow. Can you believe that I have actually been too busy at work to post? I know, me either. But I have been! Been busy emailing. lol

But despite that, I have been a pretty good mood, contrary to my last post. This week has been a good one so far. In fact I was in such a good mood this morning at work , someone asked me if I had 'drank' my breakfast! lol noooooo...not yet at least, but I may try it soon.

Actually, I used to add Irish Cream to my coffee every day. Then someone told me it was alcohol. I never really thought about it or the fact that I had to go to the liquor store to buy it. I mean "duh Kris!", but there surely isnt that much alcohol in it, is there? But come to think of it, my days were much happier when I drank it in the mornings. lol

Note to self: go to liquor store after work and purchase Irish Cream

Guys and Sports

Ok, so I am not an “ordinary” girl. I like football!

I remember being in Junior High PE class. My teacher was one of the boys’ football coaches. One day he said, “Okay, today I am going to teach you girls how to play football.” We learned the positions, offense, defense, 1st and ten, 2nd, 3rd and whatever. I know what a punt is and why they do it. Anyway, I know I enough to enjoy the game. I love it! So put me outside in the football stands and I am a happy camper.

My second eye opening experience with men and sports was in college. I decided for one of my PE electives to take golf. Once again, I learned all the terminology, par, birdie, eagle, mulligan, hole in one. (noooo, its not what you are thinking either! dirty minds!) For class we had to drive out to the driving range, sign in, hit a bucket of balls and we were free to go. Amazing what kind of college education your parents' money can buy! I never actually got to ever play a round of golf and I still haven’t. But I love to watch a golf tournament tv. My daughter took golf lessons a few summers ago. She came in second in the tournament they had for her age group. There were four girls. Did you know that more girls’ golf scholarships go unclaimed than any other???

Anyway, this is a great way to meet guys too! ;-)

Happy Sunday

Am I the only one that makes comments on other blogs and then I cant remember who's blog it was???

And by the way, I hate blogger. I had a good, indepth post written yesterday and blogger ate the damn thing.

Oh and can anyone tell me where all the freakin socks go in the washing machine??? I have a pile of one socks without a match.

I gotta go work out...

Dang I am tired and not feeling. But I keep repeating to myself,

"I gotta go work out, I gotta go work out, I gotta go work out, I gotta go work out,I gotta go work out,I gotta go work out..."

Hey JW, look...that was all copy and pasted. lol :-p

I didn’t go work out last night. Now wait a minute before you all start harassing me and listen to why. I packed my gym bag yesterday morning. I didn’t have any yoga pants clean, they were in the dryer, and so I was supposed to 'remind' myself to grab a pair out of the dryer. I get to work and halfway through the day I remembered I forgot to get a pair. I didn’t think it was in my best interest to go work out in dress pants or with out pants at all!

I instead stayed and worked a little late. Then I went home and did my normal little wife/mother duties. I picked up things that had been left lying around and distributed them to their proper location or rightful owner within the house. That is the one thing I am having the hardest time with when it comes to my daughter, getting her to return things to where she found them. Not on the general area, but putting things back exactly where she got it. You know every thing has a place and there is a place for every thing. lol I also fed the pets. They are not going to let me forget to feed them. I love how they can tell time. Like even on the weekends, they know when 5:30 rolls around. It is funny when there is daylight savings though, they get really thrown off schedule then. lol

After they ate, then I started making the family dinner. We had spaghetti and garlic bread. The best part was the salad!!! I love salad! I could eat only a salad every day for at least one meal. In fact, I think that is what I will make me for dinner tonight.

Daughter is going with a friend to a football game, our high school made it to the district playoffs. Hubs is going to the deer woods tonight (thank God!) and wont be home until Monday! I think we need this time away from each other. I hope he gets a deer. I like cooking and eating deer meat. There is no fat. I love having a freezer stocked. My daughter's favorite meal is deer meat fajitas. lol I am making myself hungry!

At this time it looks like I might not be going out tomorrow night. I can’t find someone for my daughter to spend the night with. I hate calling someone out of the blue and asking to pawn my child off on them. The couple that usually asks us to watch their daughter when they go out is out of town this weekend, so there went that idea. Maybe that is just a sign I need to stay home with my kid and fulfill my obligation to get up Sunday and go to church and keep the nursery like I agreed to do when I signed up for it.

Ok, time to go and change so I can go to the gym! :-)

Bitchy Girls & Great Guys

This is something I have noticed that all my life, but why does it seem like the "bitchier" the girl, the more devoted her boyfriend or husband is? Seriously! Seems like all the 'good' guys are all following around these women that treat and talk to them like they are crap. Can anyone enlighten me on this?

Hello?

Where is everyone?
Hardly any new posts.
Hardly any new comments.
I can tell this is going to be a long weekend, if I make it through Friday first.

Hey, I have a question. Last night I was getting in to bed and I looked at what I had on and I wanted to know, what do you girls wear to bed? Guys, what do your wives/girlfriends wear to bed? What do you wish they wore to bed?

Separation

Now this is a separation.

Ouch!

Hide and seek.

Need to pee?

Guys? Would you use this?

Hello Bill

I thought this was funny!

Being Good

You really dont realize what wonderful parents you have until you become one yourself. You mother never seemed so smart until the day you turn to her for parenting advice. I must say that my mom did a good job of raising me. Or at least I think she did. Granted my parents were married through all of my high school years, but it was my mom that did a majority of my raising.

As I face the teenage years with a daughter of my own I try to look back and remember how my mom was with me. What did she do that made me want to be so good? I hope I can do as good a job as my mom did.

I still email with my "first love". He is married and has two kids. We have been in touch for many, many years. This is part of an email he sent me the other day: "You better behave going out with the girls with no hubby at home. How long have I known you now? 26 years or so? I know that you are too much of a goodie-goodie to get in trouble. :) "

And its not 26 years, it is only 23. I met him the summer before I turned 14. He was a lifeguard at the local pool. I went to the pool every day. I had a purple bikini. He worn orange swimming trunks that velcroed in the front. Oh yeah, velcro, gotta love the 80's! lol We dated until I was in the 11th grade and he was a freshman in college.

Suggestion Box

Tobiwan said...
"It's time to get a babysitter and enjoy a nice evening with your friends. Tell us what you're gonna wear please and thank you."

Tobi I loved this, the "please and thank you" is so cute! I just love a man with manners! But, my question is to you, the other men and the women who are reading this and who go out far more than me, what SHOULD I wear?

I have always been under the impression that is it best to display 'everything' you have, but to always just give a hint. True or not? Jeans? Skirt? Boots? Heels?

Bitch, bitch, bitch

One of my pet peeves is when your spouse takes your car somewhere, uses about 98% of the tank and then decides to bring it home and leave is for you to drive. Excuse me? Do you know where the gas station is?

And whats the deal with gas going up again? Dont tell me it has to do with the freakin elections too! A few days ago is was down to $1.99, now this morning it is $2.06.

My lower back hurts. I must have done something wrong when I was working out last night. Crap.

And I have a headache. No, its not a hangover. I didnt drink anything. I just went to bed.

Ya know, used to my husband would lock all the doors and make sure we were all 'secure' for the night. Now he just crawls in bed leaving me to turn off all the lights and lock the doors. He used to stay up til midnight - 1am watching tv, now he is in bed by 8/8:30. Its like he and I have switched roles.

Oh and my mouth hurts where I tried to run my toothbrush thru my gums yesterday morning. lol damn...I am being whiney this morning.

It IS a beautiful day though. But it is not cool enough. It is supposed to be almost 80 degrees here today! We have the windows open at the house. The leaves were falling so hard and fast in the wind this morning, it sounded like it was raining.

Sleep?

Ya know, about a year ago I wouldnt have had a problem at all with going to bed at 8:30/9PM and sleeping all night. Now I am lucky if I can go to bed at 10 or 11PM and stay asleep all night.

Working out doesnt seem to have helped. Ok, ok, so what this is only my third day back in the gym, but still I already feel better. Tonight I walked in and the girl at the front said, "Wow, this is three days in a row!" I used to go every day about a year ago and in to the spring. I loved it. Then we (the family) all started riding bicycles.

The town we live in has a beautiful bike trail along a river. We all liked biking because we could do it as family. We would often ride 16 - 18 miles a night after work. I loved it.

Not only was it good exercise, but riding along the river and through the wilderness, I got to see the wildlife. I am such an an animal lover. We saw a lot of animals.

Plus the trail leads right in to downtown. So we would often park our bikes and sit along the river, watching the people. One night there was a concert going on. We stopped a watched from the bridge that went over the river as the concert went on below us on the banks of the river.

When hubby got a new job, his hours became longer and therefore, our bike riding got cut. I miss it. A lot. So that is how I got off track of going to the gym and now I must get in the habit of going again and not giving myself an option not to go.

Plus I want to stay in shape and look my best, you never know when you might meet someone for the first time and you only get once to make a first impression.

Just not a good day today. Went from great to shitty in 0.2 seconds. Hasnt come back up since, so its time to hunt down some liquor to kill the tears and put me to sleep! Good night everyone.

Lost?

Hey. I am kinda lost here. Do you know what kind of blogs I used to read before I actually started my own?

Cat blogs and Infertility blogs.

Of course I read the cat ones because I have cats and I love cats. I got caught up in the infertility ones somehow. Dont know how.

But my point here is, we all seem to congregate around the blogs that we share a common interest with. So I ask myself, what am I doing here? I dont have interesting stories to tell. Past or present. I wish I did.

Sometimes I just feel I dont belong in this "group" of blogs I read.

And then in my November 1st post "Working Late", Joe responded with this comment: "So you dont ever feel like just saying wtf and being really really bad?Bad in a wicked wicked way?"

Of course I do! And I am. Or at least I thought I was. Is there something I have to do to prove myself? I am still trying to figure out why he made that comment. Just because I dont blog about it, doesnt mean I dont feel it.

Still curious as to why you asked that Joe. Can you elaborate please.

Don't

Dont ya hate it when you are brushing your teeth and you jab your toothbrush into your gums? My dentist tells me I brush my teeth too hard anyway. I really like my dentist. He is so damn cute and so is his brother. Either way its a win-win situation when I go to the dentist. Now, if one of them was just an Obgyn, Id be happy! :-)

Dont ya hate it when your hair looks great? I only say this because that means tomorrow it will look like shit. I am prepared for it. I might as well go ahead and make the appointment to get it trimmed now.

Dont ya hate it when you are driving and your foot starts itching? Mind did that this morning. I had on boots that zipped, plus I drive a 5 speed, thus needing both of my feet. Finally, I managed to get the boot off. I scratched my foot and kept driving, with one shoe on and one shoe off!

This past weekend was my daughter's bd. It is so weird how fast time flies. I can still remember almost every detail surrounding her birth. I worked until the day she born. I remember where I went the night before she was born. I can remember what I made for dinner. I remember what the weather was like. I can remember the drive on the way to the hospital.

Hey Woodrow you'll appreciate this... I had my daughter around 3:30pm. Right after the delivery, my doc told me he was sorry that he had to hurry up and leave. His vacation had started at noon and he had agroup of guys waiting at his house to leave to go on a pheasant hunting trip! He stayed just so he could deliver my baby.

Shock!

Say it aint so! Britney files for divorce! Now if there was ever a couple that I thought would be married forever, it would be them! haha Whatever! What was she thinking?

Here is a list I found of 10 Things Guys Find Romantic. So guys, read it, tell us if you agree or disagree or make a list of your own. Wow. I am really curious to hear this. Personally I love #4.

EDITED: 11/8 12:25PM
Hey girls...tell me some romantic things that you have done for your guy.

Truth Hurts

Location: Company breakroom

Me: I'll be glad when all these damn cookies are gone.
He: They will be if you keep eating them.
Me: Shut up!

(Sorry Sam! I had a cookie, or two!)

One

I dont want to be one, I just want to be the one.

Too much fun

Deer season starts this weekend. Hubby is out of town. I just got an email from a group of friends here at work, they are all planning on going out Saturday night for one of the girl's birthday. Wow, the movie this past weekend and going out Saturday night this coming weekend, I better slow down, I might start having too much fun! lol They said there was a big dance floor. I dont normally dance, but I might just have to say "wtf" and go for it. Guess I better start trying to find a babysitter or better yet, a friend for her to spend the night with, then it wont matter what time I get home. Crap! I just remembered I am supposed to keep the nursery Sunday at church too. lol I may have to cancel on that this time.

My Laugh

I was just told I sound like Betty Rubble from The Flintstones movie. I am not sure how to take that. To make matters worse, Rosie O'Donnell played that character and I cant stand her! The thing is, this is the second time she has told me this!

At the Movies

I went to the movies this weekend. We saw The Departed. Personally I didnt think there was near enough blood and brains being blown out of the back of people's heads and fuck was just not said enough! (JUST KIDDING) The actors was great and it was suspenseful, but it was long, two and a half hours. And I must say that I am not a big Leonardo DiCaprio fan. But I have to say that he looked DAMN GOOD in this movie!

Yummy!

Hi, my name is Kris and I am a BB&W addict.

First, I got this one.
Then I went back for this one.
Yesterday I got this one and this one.

Monday

Rollercoaster.

Dr Phil quiz

"Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who’s extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken."

Working Late

I havent felt like posting today or yesterday. I dont have anything to say. Seems that someone or something has stolen my inspiration and creativity. I hope they come back soon.

Its past 5:30pm and I am still at work. This is unusual for me. Other employees keep passing by my office and saying things like, "Do you know what time it is?" or "What are YOU still doing here?" HAHA Smartasses. You arent funny. I have to stay late to make up some time. I have to stop taking such long lunch hour(s), literally. I cant help it. One hour is just not enough time to do all the things that I want to do.

This time change had me really screwed up earlier in the week. I was going to bed at 8:30pm and waking up at 1:30am. Not that that is usually the time I get up, but for some reason I could not go back to sleep. I hate that. Then of course about the time I do get settled back down, it is time to wake up. Well last night I didnt have that problem. I slept through the whole night. I pray I do again tonight.

Last night was Halloween. My daughter went out with some friends to one of the friend's neighborhoods. The friend's mom took them. I figure this will be the last year that my daughter "trick or treats". She was Raggedy Ann this year. Seems like yesterday when I was drawing a black nose and whiskers on her so she could be a kitty cat. She was a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader one year. And NO, I am not a Cowboy akd Crybaby fan, but that was all we could find.

I stayed at home last night and handed out candy. I was very disappointed in the costumes. Well maybe costumes is not the right word, maybe it would be better described as the "lack" of costumes. There were kids that werent even dressed up! Joie, I will take pictures tomorrow of my "Halloween rubbish bags" and post them for you. I know you wont be able to contain your excitement!

Look at what Adam gave out to his Trick or Treaters. lol

Edited: Still at work @ 6:30. I just hung up the phone. ;-) I said something and one of the guys I work with said, "Kris?!? Are you still here?!?!" I laughed and told him no, that it was just a figment of his imagination. He laughed and said, "Awww, sarcasm huh?" I laughed and said "From ME?" HA! Off to the grocery store to pick up a few things and then home to eat and watch "Dancing With the Stars". Shamefully I admit that I watch that. lol

OG, I added the World Clock to the sidebar.

Green

"Yet he was jealous, though he did not show it,
For jealousy dislikes the world to know it"

~ Lord Byron